Insecurity
by MockingbirdV
Summary: Thirteen/ Cameron. Thirteen doesn't go to Thailand after breaking up with Foreman and instead starts working in the ER under Cameron… Was that a double entendre? And why did House really break up Cameron and Chase? Thirteen pining over a married Cameron. (More info in A/N)
1. Change of Pace

Chapter 1: Change of Pace

**A/N:** So House has been over for a while… But I only recently started and finished it. I was left feeling very unfulfilled in regards to the amount of interaction between Thirteen and Cameron. And then this story happened. The first chapter is a bit slow, because it's expositional. Please bear with me! Also, the beginning of this chapter references dialogue in the season 8 episode "Charity Case," Thirteen's final episode before the very end of season 8. In case you were wondering why some of the dialogue sounds familiar, know that it was intentional. This is set early season 6 and later plays with the timeline of the aftermath of Dibala's death.

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><p>Thirteen rocked on the balls of her feet in front of the main doors to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. A quick look at her watch told her that the Thailand-bound flight she had booked just took off.<em> What am I doing here?<em> she thought, still unsure if she should enter the hospital.

Suddenly, her phone vibrated, making her jump. She promptly answered it.

"Hello?"

"I can see you," a gruff voice answered.

"House, you know caller ID exists, right?" Thirteen scanned the hospital lobby for her wily former boss. He peered down at her from the second floor balcony.

"Fancy seeing you here," he replied, audibly perking up.

"I was compelled to return after the seventeen messages you left me."

"So, are you coming back or what?" House asked, motioning for her to enter the hospital.

Begrudgingly, Thirteen obliged, opening the all-too familiar glass door. "Come down," she said, hanging up.

House snapped his cell phone shut and punched the down button for the elevator with his cane. Leaning against the wall, he mused to himself, "This should be interesting."

Thirteen met him at the elevator. "I'm not coming back," she said. The finality in her voice was almost believable. Almost.

"And yet, here you are." House started toward the clinic.

With muted exasperation, Thirteen followed him. "Yeah, to tell you that I'm not coming back. I can't work with Foreman."

"But I'd love to see you shove how much smarter than him you are in his stoic, emotionless face." House curled his lips up in a slimy grin, producing a glare out of Thirteen. "What? His ego needs to be knocked down a few notches. You're the only one who could make him feel inferior. Well, besides me, of course." House flung open the door to the clinic. "C'mon, you've got a date," he said, entering the clinic with Thirteen on his heels.

"A date?" she asked skeptically.

"A date with the Dean." When Thirteen rolled her eyes, he added, "Sorry, the alliteration was just too good to resist. Well, in you go!" He shoved her toward the office of Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine.

Thirteen caught herself on the handle of Cuddy's office door. Glancing back at House, she sneered at his condescending thumbs up. He waved her inside. With a groan, Thirteen entered Cuddy's office.

Looking up from an enormous stack of papers, Cuddy was more than happy for an interruption; but she was surprised by who the interruption happened to be. "Dr. Hadley," she greeted. "What can I do for you?"

Thirteen stood before Cuddy's desk and shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "I assume House told you that he wants to hire me back," she said, eyes straying to the floor.

Cuddy, as well of the rest of PPTH that had worked with Thirteen, knew she was a bit of a downer. She was gorgeous, mysterious, an exceptional doctor, sure, but none too friendly or particularly fun to talk to. Cuddy leaned back in her chair, looking over the woman who hid behind a number. "He did indeed," she replied, nodding. "Do you want to come back?"

Thirteen pursed her lips. "I've been asking myself that a lot."

"What's keeping you? Besides House," Cuddy added with smirk.

That got a dry chuckle out of Thirteen. "Foreman," she said bluntly.

Cuddy leaned forward, propping her elbows on the desk. She knew Thirteen's breakup with Foreman was founded on ugly office politics. Foreman, temporarily head of Diagnostics in House's absence, exercised flawed logic; he fired Thirteen to save their relationship, but his refusal to admit his mistake drove Thirteen to break up with him. Cuddy could easily see why she would want to avoid him.

"But you're an excellent doctor and an asset to this hospital," Cuddy remarked, watching Thirteen closely. "I would hate to lose you." Thirteen did not react to the compliment. She merely stared back at Cuddy silently. "How about the ER? We're short staffed down there since Collins and Palmer retired. And, if I remember correctly from your resume, you did an ER rotation in med school."

"I did," was the reply.

"I know it's not as interesting as being harassed and objectified by House all day and night, but you'll still have a job here. Besides, your fellowship is over." Cuddy added enticingly, "You'll have a higher salary."

Thirteen rocked on her heels, mulling it over. No obscure medical mysteries in the ER. Broken bones and bloody noses would be quite the change of pace from radical and life-threatening treatments. And House could still get to her, even though she'd be on the ground floor. He'd no doubt ring her for a consult now and then, and probably tease her for not using all of her brain capacity in such a menial job. But Thirteen was okay with that. Maybe she needed some brain numbing, needed to take it easy.

"Well?" Cuddy asked.

Thirteen squared her shoulders and dropped her hands to her sides. She looked Cuddy in the eye and asked, "When can I start?"


	2. Broken Arms Are(n't) Humerus

Chapter 2: Broken Arms Are(n't) Humerus

"Thirteen!"

The brunette doctor, who had donned a fresh set of pink scrubs, glanced down the rows of ER beds, searching for the person that had called her chosen name. Amidst the chaos of scurrying nurses and shouts of pain, strutting toward her and oozing cheerfulness was ER head Dr. Allison Cameron. The blonde smiled broadly at the newest addition to the ER. Cameron was also clad in pink scrubs, and a stethoscope hung lazily from her neck, catching the light as she moved. As Cameron approached Thirteen, she tossed the younger doctor a box of latex gloves. Caught off guard, Thirteen nearly dropped the box.

"We'll get you properly set up in the ER ASAP, but right now we've got a multi-vehicle accident to deal with." Cameron clapped Thirteen lightly on the arm and waved for her to follow. Like a lost puppy, she could only trail Cameron, who weaved through madly beeping machines and limbs bent at odd angles like they weren't even there. Thirteen pulled on a pair of gloves and dropped the box on a stray table as she passed.

Pausing by the door to the ambulance bay, Cameron directed nurses and doctors who burst through the double doors. She steadied the courses of the people in the ER, acting as a benevolent current guiding a fleet of stray ships. Admiring the ease with which Cameron took control, Thirteen failed to comprehend that the ER head was trying to get her attention.

"Hellooo, Dr. Glassy Eyes? Anybody home?" Cameron resorted to softly knocking on Thirteen's head.

Thirteen instinctively batted the hand away. When she realized the appendage was connected to Cameron, she snapped back to reality. "Sorry, what?" Thirteen asked dumbly.

"Don't zone out on me now, Thirteen. We're in a crisis."

"What should I do?"

"Let's start small, okay?" She smiled in amusement, the corners of her eyes pinching. Thirteen simply nodded. "There's a man over there who took a car to the arm," Cameron continued, pointing down the hall. "Go patch him up." Cameron shot her a confident grin before disappearing out the doors to the ambulance bay, leaving Thirteen to get to work.

_What the hell just happened?_ Thirteen thought, suddenly perplexed at her space out. She shook her head, jogging down the hall of non-critical patients. As she approached a middle-aged man clutching his right elbow, she thought, _Forget it. Just focus._

"I'm Dr. Hadley," Thirteen said, picking up his file. "What seems to be the problem?"

The man looked up. "Hi," he said. "I think my arm is broken."

Thirteen pulled up a stool and examined his arm. Toward the wrist, his forearm bent outward. "On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain?"

"Eight," he replied. Tentatively, she touched the disfigured part, causing the man to yelp. He looked at her sheepishly.

"Yeah, I'd say it's broken." She skimmed the file, noticing all the information was scrawled in an unsteady hand. Either the man broke his dominant arm, was in immense pain, or just had bad handwriting. Or some combination thereof. Realizing she was still mentally in Diagnostics, she shut the file and turned back to the man.

He chanced a glance at his arm and grimaced. "So, now what?"

"You'll need to have an x-ray. Then, after I see how your bones broke, I'll set your arm in a cast. And then we'll take it from there." Attempting to mimic Cameron, Thirteen offered a smile to the man. She hoped she looked reassuring.

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><p>Thirteen stared down her reflection in the locker room mirror. She saw frizzy hair, smudged eyeliner, and a certain droop of her eyelids. Although exhausted, in her reflection she saw a smile itching at the corners of her mouth. Yes, today had been very satisfying.<p>

She changed into jeans, a light blue collared shirt, and gray cardigan. After lacing up her gray Converse, Thirteen started to brush out the tangles in her hair. When the brush caught on a particularly trying knot, she heard the locker room door swing open.

"Hey, Thirteen!" In the mirror, Thirteen saw Cameron, wearing now bloodstained scrubs.

"Hi," Thirteen grunted, yanking her brush. The brush lodged in her hair and her hand smacked into the counter. "Fuck!" she muttered, sucking on her injured finger.

"Are you okay?" Cameron asked, rushing over.

"Yeah, fine." She untangled the brush from her hair and tossed it angrily on the counter.

"Here, let me help," Cameron laughed. She picked up the brush and motioned for Thirteen to sit on the bench between he rows of lockers.

Thirteen felt silly as her boss gently teased out the knots in her hair; and yet, the feeling was strangely calming. Her mom was the last person to brush her hair, before her Huntington's ran rampant. At the thought of her mom, Thirteen's body jerked.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Cameron asked, leaning over Thirteen's shoulder to look at her.

Their noses were almost touching. "What?" Thirteen's eyes were immediately drawn to the woman's lips. She admired the arch of her lips as they moved. _Wait, moved?_

"Did I hurt you?" Cameron repeated, concern flickering in her eyes.

Thirteen swallowed, forcing her eyes to meet Cameron's. "No, I'm fine."

"Good," Cameron said, straightening up and running her fingers through Thirteen's silky hair. The brunette leaned her head back slightly at the sensation. "Because I'm all done." Cameron held the brush out to Thirteen, who received it hesitantly. Something about Cameron's unavoidable friendliness made her uneasy.

"Thanks," Thirteen said slowly, standing up and putting her brush away. When she closed her locker, she was surprised to see Cameron open one at the end of her row. "I didn't know your locker was in here," Thirteen said before she could think to stop herself. _Why did I just ask that?_ Thirteen thought, mentally cringing._ Why else would she be here? I'm such a dumbass. _

"They reassigned me, because it's closer to the ER," Cameron replied, setting neatly folded clothes on the bench. "I guess they though seven less seconds in an elevator makes a difference." She shrugged and closed her locker. "By the way, great job today. I know the ER can be quite a pace adjustment after lounging around with House."

"It felt good," Thirteen remarked. "I think I set three broken arms, and that was just before lunch."

"Ah, how humerus," Cameron said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Despite herself, Thirteen felt a smile tug at her lips. "That was absolutely terrible."

Cameron simply shrugged, but the grin splitting her face was genuine and bright. "You should do that more often," the blonde said, picking up her clothes.

Thirteen's eyebrows knit together. "Do what?"

"Smile," Cameron chirped, heading down the aisle of lockers toward the changing rooms. From around the corner, she called, "See you tomorrow!"

"Yeah, see you," Thirteen replied faintly.

_What is this woman doing to me?_

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><p><strong>AN:** Angsty Thirteen/ hopelessly amiable Cameron is a fun relationship to write. But the next chapter is deliciously flirty. ;)


	3. Thirteen Thursday

Chapter 3: Thirteen Thursday

"I'm glad we're finally going out for drinks," Cameron said, sipping her drink. She had ordered a Lemondrop, a simple, yet spritely mixture of vodka, lemon juice, and sugar. As Cameron sucked on the sugary rim of the martini glass, she didn't notice Thirteen draw in a sharp breath. Cameron set her glass down, and ran her tongue around her lips to catch any stray sugar crystals. "I know it's only been two weeks, but it sure doesn't feel that long. I guess the ER will do that to you," she decided, toying with the curly lemon peel perched on the edge of her glass. Thirteen let the trapped air inside her lungs tumble silently from her mouth.

The brunette could only nod in response, taking a swig of Heady Topper, a beer McNally's Bar had on tap. It was surprisingly citrusy, yet had a smoothness that appealed to Thirteen. Even after one sip, the golden brown liquid left her with a pleasant, heady feeling. She wondered if perhaps Cameron tasted like this. At the thought, she set down her glass and wiped her mouth. _Shit, not again_, she thought._ Brain, please shut up._

"So, besides the fact that you worked for House and broke up with Foreman, I don't know much about you," Cameron realized. "Tell me about yourself."

Thirteen suppressed a scoff by clearing her throat. _How the hell do you answer that?_ "What do you want to know?" Thirteen asked with false confidence.

"Well, how do you like the ER?"

Thirteen leaned an elbow on the bar. "Really, you want to talk about work?"

"No," Cameron laughed, "I don't." She thought for a moment. "Are you seeing anyone?"

Thirteen took a sip of her beer, and was reminded of the brilliantly Cameron-esque flavor. "Nope."

"Aw, come on, Thirteen. I'm sure someone like you doesn't stay single for long," Cameron teased.

Thirteen narrowed her eyes playfully at the blonde. "And what do you mean by that, Cameron?"

"Like you don't know," Cameron shot back, smiling lopsidedly.

Genuinely puzzled, Thirteen tilted her head at Cameron. "Uh, no?"

"You're serious." Thirteen shrugged, still confused and smiling awkwardly. Rolling her eyes exaggeratedly, Cameron lightly shoved Thirteen's arm.

"Ow," Thirteen said, feigning pain. "I should sue you for battery."

"You're too much," Cameron giggled.

"But seriously," Thirteen continued, taking another drink of beer, "what the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't know if you've ever looked in a mirror…" Cameron drawled, raising an eyebrow at Thirteen.

She opened her mouth to continue when Thirteen joked, "I never took you for the superficial type."

Running her index finger around the rim of her martini glass, Cameron ignored Thirteen's comment and continued, "But you could have any guy—or girl—you wanted just by _breathing_."

_Well, almost any_. At this thought, Thirteen's lips curved downward and she subconsciously let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Oh, don't tell me you've been rejected before," Cameron said. Thirteen just shrugged. "You have?" The shock on Cameron's face was unexpected and completely adorable. "No way! Tell me!" she said excitedly.

"Well…"

"Thirteen!" Cameron looked about ready to spring into the air. "Tell me!" she whined, pouting.

Thirteen sighed. How could she say no that face? "Straight girls… are straight," she said simply. Thirteen tried to end this avenue of conversation with a passing remark, but Cameron looked so crestfallen that she was compelled to finish on a happy note. "Although," Thirteen added, "sometimes I can turn them." She added a wink for good measure, and couldn't help but grin when Cameron's face lit up with amusement.

_But I can't always turn them_, Thirteen thought despondently.

Cameron raised her glass and clinked it against Thirteen's. "Happy Thursday, Thirteen."

"Happy Thursday, Cameron." They each took a sip of their drinks.

"We should go out for drinks more often," Cameron grinned. "You're fun."

"As are you," Thirteen replied.

"Should we make Thursday our going out nights? I'll just tell Chase I'm out for Thirteen Thursday." Cameron laughed at this.

"Sounds good to me." Thirteen couldn't help but smile at the fact that Cameron would rather spend some of her time with her than with Chase.

_Thirteen: 1. Cameron's husband: 0_.

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><p><strong>AN:** I know this chapter could have been longer, but I wanted to keep it short and sweet. Be not afraid, flirty doctor ladies will return.


	4. Cameron's Conundrum

Chapter 4: Cameron's Conundrum

**A/N:** This chapter was very satisfying to write, the last part especially. And that's all I have to say for now. ;)

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><p>There weren't many options left. Bearing down on the refrigerator, House scowled at the remaining containers of food, each adorned with a post-it note bearing a different doctor's name. Toward the back of the second shelf, he spied a container of chicken nuggets. The name on it was James Wilson. At this discovery, House couldn't help but grin wickedly. He grabbed the container and a bottle of ketchup.<p>

Beyond the doors to the doctor's lounge, he heard women laughing. As the voices drew nearer, House glanced around for a place to hide. If Wilson found out that House had taken his food again, Wilson wouldn't go out for drinks for a week. House couldn't risk being discovered. He ducked behind the counter island as the door to the lounge swung open.

"He really said that?" It was Cameron.

House rolled his eyes. _Of all the doctors in this hospital_, he thought, _it had to be her_. If Cameron caught him food snatching, she'd chastise his ear off.

"Yeah, so then I grabbed his girlfriend's ass and kissed her." And that was Thirteen.

Figures. It _would_ be in her gay agenda to grope random guys' girlfriends. _That's my girl_, he thought satisfactorily. House was intrigued at the thought of his lady-ducklings befriending one another. Only Cameron could be persistent and annoying enough to worm her way through Thirteen's emotional walls.

"No way!" Cameron gushed. "Then what happened?"

"Well, it finally shut him up," Thirteen laughed.

The voices remained at a distance, and House reasoned they had taken a seat on the couch. As quietly as he could, he began to eat Wilson's dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

"I admire your confidence," Cameron said, sighing. House froze mid-bite. He was sure she was about to spill some embarrassing and blackmail-worthy secret. "I'm worried about Chase," the ER head confessed. "Something is definitely wrong, but he won't tell me what it is. I trust him, but I'm worried, because he won't confide in me." Cameron paused. "I haven't had the guts to really confront him about it," she added, as though admitting this to herself for the first time.

House ran through everything he could think of that might explain the wombat's strange behavior. And then he remembered. A few weeks before Thirteen returned to PPTH, Cameron and Chase had temporarily returned to Diagnostics to diagnose the African dictator, Dibala, a man responsible for genocides and other atrocities. The team was devastated at their failure to cure the patient, who ended up dying. However, when Foreman and Chase were going over their reports to present the case at a conference, House discovered that Chase had intentionally misdiagnosed Dibala in order to kill him. He had attributed Chase being off his game in Diagnostics to sexual frustration, as usual; but maybe pretty boy really was wracked with guilt over killing Dibala.

"I think," Thirteen began slowly, "that you should give him time. It sounds like whatever he's dealing with can't be forced out of him."

Cameron sounded very far away when she asked, "But what if he never tells me?"

"Then I think you have your answer," Thirteen replied curtly.

_Wow_, House thought, _a little harsh, even for you, Thirteen_. He dipped a chicken nugget in ketchup and took a bite.

Cameron didn't seem to take offense. "You're right," she said. "Maybe if I give him space, he'll be more comfortable telling me."

"Exactly," Thirteen replied.

"So," Cameron sighed. "Now we wait."

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><p>"Wilson!" House exclaimed, bursting through Dr. James Wilson's office door. "I have an idea." He slumped into Wilson's couch.<p>

"I give you permission," Wilson said, not looking up from the file he was reading.

"What?" House asked, taken aback. He hadn't even gotten to share his maniacal plan with his BFFL.

Wilson shot House a look of exasperation. "House, I don't have time to listen to your crazy schemes today. I have a patient coming in who has stage four pancreatic cancer and—"

Using his cane, House pushed himself up from the couch. "Fine," he said, cutting Wilson off. "Then I'll just tell Cameron and Chase that you didn't save their marriage when you had the chance." He headed for the door.

"Whoa, hold on, House," Wilson sputtered, standing up. "What are you going to do?"

House walked intently toward the elevator. "Does it matter? You, as my moral compass, have already given me permission."

"That is so unfair," Wilson whined, following House. When House didn't acknowledge his comment, Wilson persisted, "Putting a squirrel in someone's locker or sending Cuddy's nudes in a hospital memo or something is one thing, but you're talking about other people's relationships." House punched the down button with his cane. "House, whatever you found out is none of your business. Cameron and Chase are your friends."

The elevator arrived, and thankfully was empty. House sidled into elevator car, trying to push the "close doors" button before Wilson could follow him in. However, Wilson's reflexes were quicker than the elevator, and the oncologist managed to force his way through the closing doors.

"House, this is a mistake," Wilson insisted.

The diagnostician tried with all his might to resist Wilson's inescapable "please do the right thing" look. With a monumental groan, House conceded. "Fine," he muttered, "I won't do anything."

Wilson patted House on the shoulder. "Thank you."

When the elevator reached the lobby, House stepped out of the car and started toward the clinic. As he crossed the lobby, he saw Cameron, in street clothes, wave goodbye to Thirteen, who was still dressed in scrubs. Cameron left the hospital, but Thirteen stared after her for a moment. The brunette bit her lip and smiled to herself, and then headed back toward the ER.

"You've gotta be kidding me," House muttered, a gleeful spark slipping into his voice. He flipped open his cell phone and dialed Wilson's number.

"Hello?"

"Wilson, I take back what I said," House declared with satisfaction.

"Were you just lying from the start?" Wilson asked, disappointed.

"Nope," House replied, rapping his cane against the lobby vending machine until a bag of chips tumbled down. He snatched up the bag. "I really wasn't going to destroy Cameron's marriage."

"What happened?"

"Change of plans!" House proclaimed, reclining comfortably on the stairs. He hung up the phone. Smirking, House opened the bag of chips and crunched one in delight. He thought smugly, _Thirteen's in love with Cameron._

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><p><strong>AN:** Muahahaha! House, you sly dog. Get excited for high stakes in the coming chapters!


	5. Just Us Girls

Chapter 5: Just Us Girls

**A/N:** Reviewers Kylie and sw—you are droplets of sunshine. Thank you for taking the time to review this story. This chapter is a little longer, just for you. :) Also, as I am not a doctor, please forgive me if any of the science is incorrect. I utilized Google to the best of my ability, but I probably made some errors concerning the medical stuffs (that disclaimer also goes for all science-y things to come).

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><p>"You can't be serious," Cameron groaned, looking disgustedly at her pager.<p>

Thirteen glanced up from bandaging a burn victim's leg. "What's the matter?" she asked. "An amputation? Ferrets taking over the White House?" Thirteen grinned.

Cameron couldn't suppress a laugh at Thirteen's dorky, magnetic charm. "I'd take the latter over this," Cameron said, showing the page to Thirteen.

CANCEL YOUR WEEKEND –HOUSE

Just then, Thirteen's pager dinged.

"Cameron, would you mind…?" Thirteen asked, pointing to her pocket with a gloved hand.

Without hesitation, Cameron snaked her hand into the pocket of Thirteen's scrubs. The brunette tried not to squirm as Cameron's hand pressed against her hip, against her thigh. Suddenly feeling guilty for enjoying Cameron's physical touch, Thirteen bit her tongue until the ER head had secured her pager.

"He screwed us both," Cameron lamented, reading the page. She held it out for Thirteen to read.

CANCEL YOUR WEEKEND –HOUSE

Thirteen tossed her head back and let out a sigh. "He must need us for a case," she muttered. She finished wrapping the burn victim's bandages and stood up. Taking off her gloves and discarding them, Thirteen penned some notes on the patient's chart. "But really," she added, turning to the blonde, "the long weekend?"

"Right?" Cameron shook her head. "Chase is visiting friends in Australia, so it'll just be us and House."

Although Thirteen no longer cared to know about her ex-boyfriend's life, she couldn't help but wonder, "What about Foreman?"

Cameron glanced at her sideways. "Didn't you know?" she asked. "Foreman took a job in Germany last week. They're doing some kind of neurological study in Zurich." She added, "I can't recall what it is specifically, though."

"Oh," was all Thirteen could think to say. If Foreman had left Diagnostics, there would be nothing stopping her from going back to work for House again; but that would also mean no longer working with Cameron. Thirteen thought, _Do I want to go back to Diagnostics? Should I?_

"Let's go have a chat with the devil," Cameron muttered, interrupting her thoughts.

Following the blonde to the elevators, Thirteen countered, "He's more like Faust, though, don't you think?"

"Ha, forget trickery, House would just irritate the devil until he was banned from hell," Cameron laughed, pushing the up button.

Thirteen chuckled in agreement, watching Cameron sway back and forth, patiently waiting for the elevator. As Cameron looked up at the slowly descending floor numbers, Thirteen was distracted by the slope of her jaw and the gentle curve of her neck. Thirteen imagined running her hand over Cameron's neck, feeling her pulse flutter beneath her fingers. Even though the blonde's hair was tied back in messy ponytail, her hair cascaded over her shoulder like liquid sunshine. Thirteen wondered what it would feel like to have sunlight dribble between her fingers…

The elevator's arrival brought Thirteen crashing back to reality. As the two women rode the elevator to House's floor, Thirteen tried desperately not to sneak a glance at Cameron's breath-taking profile. She failed, of course. The elevator dinged, and they marched down a hallway that well knew their footsteps. Cameron pushed House's office door open forcefully.

"House, don't you have any other people that work for you?" Cameron asked, irritation grating her voice.

As though waiting for them, House leaned back in his chair nonchalantly. "Why hire new people when I have you and Thirty-one?"

Thirteen narrowed her eyes at House. His jabs at her sexuality always managed to get under her skin, no matter how hard she tried to ignore them. But to be honest, she had expected him to pester her more while she was in the ER. Not once in the two months she'd been working with Cameron had the notorious diagnostician attempted to guilt her into consulting on a case—until now, that is. _I'm actually a bit insulted_, Thirteen thought, letting a small smile slip.

"Ah-ha! You see, Cameron?" House exclaimed victoriously, pointing his cane at Thirteen. "_She's _happy to be back. You know, Thirteen was always the sensible one."

Cameron frowned slightly at Thirteen, giving her a "thanks for nothing" look. All Thirteen could do was hold her hands up in defense and grin sheepishly. "House, I have a family reunion in Maryland this weekend," Cameron said. "I'm driving down tomorrow morning."

"Then you've still got all of today!" Standing, House moved to the conference room. He uncapped a black dry erase marker and started writing symptoms on the whiteboard: 26 Y/O MALE, HEAD ACHES, ABDOMINAL PAIN, FEVER.

As Thirteen and Cameron followed House into the next room, the brunette couldn't stay quiet any longer. "House, come on. It's Friday."

SLURRED SPEE—

House stopped writing. "Oh, I'm sorry, do you have somewhere else to be?"

"Yes, actually. The ER," Thirteen retorted, "so I can finish my shift and go home."

"You want to let a man die so you can go back to work and then have a relaxing evening?" House asked incredulously. "Thirteen, I'm disappointed. You took an oath."

SLURRED SPEECH, TREMORS, IMPAIRED BALANCE.

"House, we have to be saving people's lives in the ER!" Cameron shouted, finally at her wit's end. "Forget it, I'm going back downstairs."

The ER head started for the door. "Wait," House called quietly. Thirteen raised an eyebrow as she and Cameron exchanged a bemused glance. The women settled their gazes on House. "I really do need your help," he muttered in defeat. "I don't know what's wrong with him."

With a sigh, Thirteen took a seat at the table and stared intently at the board, the symptoms swimming around in her head. "Seems like he's just intoxicated," she muttered.

"I ran a tox screen. No drugs or alcohol in his system."

"Autoimmune?" Cameron asked.

House snorted. "The immunologist _would_ suggest that."

Cameron leaned against the table. "He has abdominal pain. Maybe his bowels are inflamed. It also fits with fever."

House shook his head. "Doesn't explain the slurred speech."

"Infection," Thirteen said.

House looked over the symptoms. "I'll start him on broad-spectrum antibiotics," he said. "You two break into his house."

Rolling her eyes, Cameron crossed her arms over her chest. "You need us to ditch the ER to break into some guy's house."

"Not _some_ guy's house," House groaned. "Our _patient's_ house!"

Shrugging, Thirteen stood and started for the door. When her fingers gripped the handle she asked, "Boss, I'm good to leave the ER, right?"

Simultaneously, House and Cameron said, "Yes."

Cameron glared at House, who grinned at Thirteen. The brunette hid a smile by turning to open the door. "Cameron, you coming?" Thirteen asked when the ER head made no move to follow her.

House nudged Cameron forward with his cane. "Yeah, yeah," she sighed. Thirteen couldn't help but grin. In response, Cameron playfully declared, "I'm driving."

* * *

><p>With extraordinary gusto, House paraded into Wilson's office and flung the door shut behind him. "Wilson, I have good news. My evil plan is working."<p>

"You mean your plan to break up Cameron and Chase? I know it's only been two days, but unless you intend to do that by permanently keeping Chase in Australia, I'd say your plan is definitively not working," Wilson said with a chuckle.

"Ye of little faith!" House spat, shaking his head. "My plan is working perfectly."

"Care to share with the class?" Wilson asked, leaning forward on his desk.

"I've taken Chase's absence as an opportunity to bring Cameron and Thirteen closer together. I convinced them to work this case that—"

"Back up," Wilson interjected, holding out his hands to halt House's words. "What does Thirteen have to do with this?"

"Only _everything_," House groaned in exasperation. Wilson stared at him expectantly, awaiting an explanation. When House thought Wilson had suffered enough, he exclaimed, "Thirteen is in love with Cameron!"

"I—wait, what?" Wilson stuttered, eyes locking on House. This had to be a prank; but House nodded, completely serious. "_Really_?"

The diagnostician grumbled, "_God_, you're an idiot sometimes."

"I just—how the hell would I have known that?" Wilson asked, tossing his hands in the air. House dropped his head into his hands. Leaning back in his chair, Wilson murmured in awe, "Wow, did not see that coming. I'm guessing Thirteen didn't tell you this voluntarily."

House wiggled his eyebrows at Wilson. "I'm a master observer, that's all."

"Okay, so how is it that your plan is working?"

"I've forced them together, you see. Cameron will ultimately succumb to her attraction to Thirteen, thus ending her relationship with Chase." A self-satisfied smirk was plastered across his face.

"I thought Thirteen was the one in love with Cameron," Wilson stated, sounding unconvinced.

House nodded. "She is."

"But your plan is based on Cameron being the initiator," Wilson said.

"Thirteen attracts anything that moves," House countered.

"And yet, Cameron is married," Wilson reasoned. "And _straight_." House had opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, but Wilson's comment forced the words to die in his throat. "I know you're the logical one," Wilson continued, "but this plan is about as illogical as you can get."

"Shut up," House muttered, rubbing his temples.

Wilson laughed at House's miscalculation. "This is probably your worst idea ever."

"Hardly," House scoffed. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Remember New Year's Eve three years ago? With the chocolate syrup and the car? And the _ramp_?"

Wilson chuckled. "Okay, _that_ was your worst idea ever, because it was stupid, and we were smashed. But _this_… I don't even know what to say about this. Thirteen and Cameron are friends, and I doubt Thirteen would do anything to jeopardize that."

"As much as I hate to say this Wilson, you're absolutely right," House conceded, pursing his lips.

"So, now what?" Wilson asked.

House thought for a moment, and then grinned mischievously. "Now, plan B."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Sorry to end it with House again. Cameron and Thirteen will be back first thing next chapter, and you can bet on buckets of bonding. ;)


	6. B&E

Chapter 6: B&E

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, guys! Y'all rock my socks. :)

* * *

><p>"I worry that you're so good at this," Cameron remarked, looking around to ensure no one would catch them in the act.<p>

Thirteen chuckled. "What can I say?" she asked, twisting her wrist ever so slightly. "I've had a lot of practice."

Brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, Cameron quirked an eyebrow at the brunette. "How much practice are we talking here?"

"A fair amount," Thirteen grinned, shifting her fingers.

Hesitantly, Cameron asked, "Was the first time rough?"

"Almost got caught that time," Thirteen laughed, remembering. "But it was definitely more exciting." She wiggled her eyebrows at the blonde, who heaved a great sigh as she glanced around again.

"Forget what I said about you being good at this," Cameron groaned. "Will you hurry up?"

"Someone's impatient," Thirteen teased. With a final twitch of her fingers, Thirteen induced the lock to open, producing a satisfying _click_. "Breaking and entering really is my forte," she grinned, tucking her lock picking tools in her pocket.

"Great, now let's go inside," Cameron insisted, shooing Thirteen into their patient's house.

As Cameron gently shut the door behind them, Thirteen joked, "I find your aversion to breaking the law kind of hilarious."

Cameron narrowed her eyes at Thirteen. "And I find the ease with which you break the law kind of concerning."

Thirteen just shrugged and moved into the living room. _Tight ass_, she thought, rolling her eyes. _Wait…_ Thirteen slyly looked over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of Cameron moving down the front hall. A pair of black slacks hugged Cameron's posterior. _Yup. Definitely a tight ass_, she thought with a smirk.

The living room was slathered with browns and deep reds, lending a comfortable atmosphere to the place. As Thirteen ran her fingers across the arm of a leather recliner, her eyes were drawn to the brick fireplace. Neatly placed portraits of a man in elementary school, middle school, high school, and college progressed across the mantle.

_No baby pictures, though_, she thought. _I guess that's kind of weird_. The depiction of this man's age through photos piqued her interest. Thirteen inspected the living room for any more photographic clues, but was surprised to find no other pictures. _Isn't that what living rooms are for? Or whatever?_ Thirteen thought. The absence of other human interaction puzzled her.

"Cameron?" Thirteen called, moving to the dining room. "Did you find anything?" The table's centerpiece was a magnificent white orchid. Peering down at the flower, Thirteen noticed that it was meticulously looked after, no speck of dirt out of place. "Cameron?" Thirteen called again when there was no response. Her eyebrows knit together.

_Oh, shit_, Thirteen thought in alarm. _Cameron!_ She burst into the kitchen, looking around wildly. Suddenly, a hand clasped over her mouth and another pulled her down behind the kitchen island. Thirteen ripped the hand from her mouth and whirled around.

It was Cameron. "What the hell!" Thirteen shouted, her fear quickly draining away.

"Shhh!" Cameron angrily whispered. She pointed around the island and held a finger to her lips.

Thirteen gave her an odd look, but slowly peered around the island. In a writhing mound were colorful, deadly… _SNAKES!_

"Holy shit!" Thirteen mouthed to Cameron, peril dancing in her eyes. Cameron grabbed her face with both hands and sternly held her gaze. Almost as if Cameron's hands were absorbing Thirteen's fear, the brunette felt a calm collectedness settle inside her. Thirteen let out a shuddering breath.

Cameron took another glance at the snakes and then yanked Thirteen by the hand out of the kitchen. Stumbling after Cameron and gripping her hand like a life preserver, Thirteen thought, _Why in the fucking hell does this guy have snakes in his kitchen?_ Cameron rushed out the door, slamming it as soon as Thirteen was over the threshold.

"Pardon me for stating the obvious," Thirteen panted, bending over and clutching her knees, "but what the _hell_ was that?"

Cameron leaned breathlessly against the door and shook her head. "I have no idea."

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna go with parasite," Thirteen proposed, slumping into a conference room chair.<p>

"Seconded," Cameron agreed, taking a seat next to Thirteen.

"A parasite? From a _snake_?" House scoffed.

"How about a shit-ton of snakes?" Thirteen replied.

Cameron cleared her throat to hide a laugh.

"No," House said. "The only symptom that fits is abdominal pain. God, you two are rusty. Next?"

Thirteen and Cameron exchanged glances. "Uh, meningitis?" Thirteen asked.

"Then we'd have an outbreak," House retorted.

"Rheumatic fever," Cameron offered.

"Where's the rash?" House asked, pointing his cane at the whiteboard.

"Atypical presentation," Cameron said simply. "And his file said elevated white blood cell count."

"Yeah, before I started him on antibiotics," House snorted. "What about slurred speech?"

Cameron didn't have a response to that. Sighing, House motioned toward the door. "Go draw his blood and do the test."

Cameron stood and turned to leave, but Thirteen hung back. "Are we really not going to discuss the snakes?" she asked, only half-joking.

"Seems like they're irrelevant," House shrugged. "But you're going to have to break in again, since you only checked the first floor of his house."

Cameron groaned. "I'll call animal control I guess," she muttered. "Thirteen, can you start on the test?"

Thirteen nodded. As they headed out, House called, "Sssssstay on task, lackeyssssss!"

* * *

><p>Pulling open the door to Jacob Rosenbaum's room, Thirteen was pleasantly surprised to see her patient drawing in a sketchbook. He had feathery brown hair and ears that stuck out more than a typical person's. Brow creased slightly in concentration, he didn't even hear her enter the room. Despite the fact that his jaw was set rigidly as he worked, his visage appeared smooth and open. Thirteen was inexplicably attracted to his aura.<p>

"Hi, Jacob," Thirteen greeted at last, "I'm Dr. Hadley."

Looking up, the man grinned widely at her, teeth glistening like the Atlantic Ocean. "Call me Jake," he replied cheerfully.

"Okay, Jake," Thirteen smiled, fishing in the cabinet for blood-drawing supplies. "I'm going to draw some of your blood so we can test it for different infections."

"What do you think I have?"

"Rheumatic fever is at the top of our list," she said, pulling up a chair. Jake extended his arm and she tied a tourniquet around his bicep.

"Is it serious?" he asked, a tinge of fear creeping into his voice.

"Not at all," Thirteen replied, lightly smacking his arm. She sterilized his forearm with iodine and inserted the needle. Although Jake didn't cry out, he cringed noticeably. "I'm sorry," Thirteen said, keeping her eyes on the syringe. "I know it's uncomfortable."

Jake forced a smile. "It's all right."

After a few moments, Thirteen had collected enough blood to run tests. "Okay, Jake, I'm all finished."

"When will you have the test results?"

"In a few hours," Thirteen said. "Don't worry, though. You seem to be getting better just with some over-the-counter medication."

"Yeah, my fever's gone down a lot," he said, grinning.

Thirteen nodded and stood. "I'll let you know as soon as we have the test results."

"Thanks, Dr. Hadley." Warmth emanated from Jake, giving Thirteen no choice but to smile back at him.

"You're welcome."

As Thirteen opened the door to leave, Cameron suddenly slammed into her, sending the brunette tumbling backward. Seconds before Thirteen would have hit the ground, Cameron's hand shot out and caught her. Unfortunately, the syringe of blood crashed to the floor, blood and glass splattering on the linoleum.

"Thirteen! Are you okay?" Cameron fretted, slowly pulling her upright. "I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry about it," Thirteen replied faintly, not sure if her head was spinning from the fall or from her contact with Cameron.

Cameron flashed a relieved smile. "Good!" she chirped, immediately moving to clean up the blood and shards of glass. "So, I called animal control and they actually had someone in the area investigating a raccoon problem and…" Cameron trailed off when she noticed Thirteen staring at her blankly. Little did she know that Thirteen was simply entranced by Cameron's adorable vivacity. "Why are you staring at me?" Cameron asked with a small laugh.

Thirteen blinked. "What?"

"Do I have something on my face?" Cameron asked, running her fingers over her cheek.

_Gosh, you're pretty_, Thirteen thought, swallowing hard.

A crease formed between Cameron's eyebrows. "Thirteen? What is it?"

"Uh…" Thirteen started, frantically searching for words.

"I think you look gorgeous!" Jake piped up, grinning from ear to ear.

Thirteen turned to look at her patient, having all but forgotten he was there. Cameron laughed at the bewilderment on Thirteen's face, her voice like wind chimes dancing on the wind.

"Thank you, Jacob," Cameron said, eyes pinching at the corners as she offered him a tight-lipped smile.

"Call me Jake," he said.

"Hi, Jake," Cameron greeted, "I'm Dr. Cameron." She turned back to Thirteen. "So, animal control stopped by his house and collected all of the snakes."

"Wait, _my_ house?" Jake asked in alarm.

"Yes," Cameron said.

"Why were there snakes in my house?" The fear in his voice was instantly replaced by curiosity.

"Do you, uh, not own snakes?" Cameron asked, exchanging a puzzled look with Thirteen.

"No."

"Then why—" Cameron started.

"House," Thirteen cursed, voice dripping with irritation. "He must have put the snakes there to screw with us."

"You were in my house?" Jake asked, confusion plastered across his face.

Cameron looked to Thirteen, and then said, "To see if you could have gotten sick from anything in your house. But we didn't get to finish looking around because of the snakes."

"I would have given you a key," Jake said.

"Dr. House is a firm believer that everybody lies," Thirteen explained. "If we don't tell you we're breaking into your house, then you won't try to hide anything that could potentially be relevant to our diagnosis."

Just then, Cameron's pager beeped. As she read it, the corners of her mouth drooped slightly. "Thirteen, they have an emergency in the ER that I need to deal with. Can you draw blood again?" Thirteen gave her a casual salute. Grinning in appreciation, Cameron waved goodbye and then made a dash for the elevators.

Thirteen stared after her for a moment. Then, realizing she had a job to do, she sat down on the other side of Jake's bed and started tying a tourniquet.

"Why does she call you Thirteen?" Jake asked.

Thirteen's eyes remained intent on her work. "Everyone calls me that."

"Why?"

There was no malice in his voice, no note of condescension. She couldn't help but tear her gaze away from the syringe and stare into his bright, curious eyes. "A few years ago, I competed for a fellowship under Dr. House. All the applicants wore numbers, because he didn't bother to learn our names until the pool was significantly narrowed down." Glancing back at the needle, she slowly began to draw blood, and continued, "I was number Thirteen. The name just stuck." She shrugged.

"Do you like working for him?" Jake asked. "He doesn't seem like such a nice guy if he tried to scare you and Dr. Cameron."

"Oh, he's not," Thirteen chuckled. "He tries to get under our skin as often as possible. But he's brilliant, and I came here to learn from him."

"Did Dr. Cameron compete for the fellowship with you?"

"No, she worked for House before I did. Now she's the head of the ER," Thirteen said. "I actually work in the ER, too." Something about this man compelled Thirteen to talk to him, to reveal more to a patient than she normally would.

"Then, why are you treating me?" Jake asked, tilting his head slightly. No human had ever resembled a German Shepherd puppy more than Jake Rosenbaum.

"House's current team is away, so he asked Cameron and I to take your case," Thirteen explained, sticking a bandage over the puncture in his arm.

"Are you two together?"

Thirteen's head snapped up. "What?"

"Are you and Dr. Cameron dating?" Jake asked, lips curling into an amused grin.

Blinking rapidly, Thirteen managed to say, "No, no we're not. We're friends."

"You don't look at each other like friends," he laughed.

Thirteen stood up, desperately hoping the burning in her cheeks didn't show. "I'll let you know when your test results come back," she said, sliding the door closed behind her as she left quickly.

_Oh, no,_ Thirteen thought. Panic clawed at the back of her mind as she recalled the ease with which Jake had picked up on her true feelings for Cameron. _What if other people know? What if...?_ She thought, feeling her stomach bottom out. _W__hat if House knows?_

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Dun dun DUUUUNNN! Hope you liked this longer chapter! Let me know what you thought of it! :)


	7. Why?

Chapter 7: Why?

**A/N: **Hey everyone, thank you for the reviews. Sorry to keep you waiting! As I said in an earlier note, I'm sorry if the science is wrong (which, I am sure, it is). Don't take any medical facts from here, because I only used the internet to briefly research different conditions. Anyway, enjoy!

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><p>Staring blankly across the room, Thirteen drummed her fingers on the table in a monotonous rhythm. She checked her watch again, heaving a sigh. <em>Still two more hours<em>… Thirteen had considered taking a nap in the doctor's lounge, but her strange encounter with her patient left her with little desire to interact with people. And, of course, there was the risk that she might run into House. She was sure he knew. House was privy to any secret a person left in plain sight, which Thirteen figured she must have done if Jake could so easily discern her feelings for Cameron.

_But if House knows, then why hasn't he bugged me about Cameron?_ She thought, _Does he have some sort of end game? _What_ is he thinking?_ With a frustrated groan, Thirteen slumped over the table, burying her head in her arms.

"This is the woooorst," she grumbled.

"What's the worst?"

Thirteen jerked her head up, nearly falling off the stool. _It's Cameron. Oh, God. Of course it's Cameron._

"I, uh," Thirteen began, grasping for words, "this, uh, this test. It's taking a long time."

"No longer than normal, though?" Cameron teased.

Thirteen narrowed her eyes playfully at the blonde. "Ha ha."

Cameron stuck her tongue out at Thirteen. "So, I know it's not Thirteen Thursday," she said, smiling lopsidedly at the brunette, "but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight?" Thirteen's brilliant eyes widened. "I mean, we don't have to. I know we're in the middle of a case and all." Cameron's face fell.

The sight of a dejected Cameron caused Thirteen's chest to tighten. Quickly, she replied, "No, that sounds fun. What did you have in mind?"

"Well I had just planned on watching a movie tonight in my pajamas," Cameron laughed, the sound washing over Thirteen like warm tea. "But if you want to do something else, I'm game for anything." The blonde offered Thirteen a congenial smile, and Thirteen couldn't help but be entranced by Cameron's comfortable presence.

"Movie sounds good," Thirteen said, her lips curling into a small smile.

"Awesome," Cameron grinned. As she turned to leave, Thirteen felt a great chasm stretch between them.

"Wait," Thirteen blurted out, desperately trying to hold on to Cameron. She said the first thing that came to mind. "Do you know what was up with the snakes?"

Cameron laughed at the silliness of the question, which had caught her off guard. Whenever Thirteen's playful side emerged, she was always pleasantly surprised. "Yeah, I saw House earlier. He said a good prank was long overdue." Cameron rolled her eyes. "He was itching to take credit for it, because he couldn't wait any longer."

"I'll bet," was all Thirteen could think to say. She wanted to grab Cameron and hold her down on the Earth, but Cameron was slipping through her fingers.

"I'm heading down to the ER. Let me know when the test comes back."

With that, the blonde left, leaving Thirteen standing alone on the edge of a cliff.

* * *

><p>"He was positive for rheumatic fever," Thirteen said, sliding into a chair in the conference room. "I've started him on antibiotics."<p>

House uncapped the dry erase marker. "Then we can cross off fever and… just fever."

"When I talked to him earlier," Cameron said, "his headache seemed to have been cured with two Aspirin."

"What about the abdominal pain?" House asked, the gleam of foresight flashing in his eyes. He was _this_ close to solving the case.

Cameron shrugged. "He ate some bad sushi yesterday."

Leaning against the cabinet, House lamented, "That's disappointing."

"That's what happens when you take a correct history," Cameron laughed.

"Well, the antibiotics should kick in soon," House sighed. "That leaves us with tremors, slurred speech, and impaired balance."

Thirteen's eyebrows knit together. "He wasn't slurring when I talked to him."

"The symptom relapsed," Cameron explained. "When I was taking the history while you were in the lab, it took him ten minutes to explain a few sentences."

House loudly tapped the white board with his cane. "Do I even need to ask? I _really_ hope, for your own honors, that you can figure this one out." Cameron started to say something, but House interrupted her. "C'mon, why not let Thirteen say it? She's also got a terminal disease." A dark humor clouded his face.

Thirteen was ashamed that she couldn't look him in the eye when she mumbled, "Early onset Parkinson's."

"Wonderful! Now," House said, shooing them out the door, "go break the news."

"I can do it," Thirteen whispered, casting a sideways glance at Cameron. The blonde looked away when their eyes met, simply pulling the door open and striding forlornly down the hall.

* * *

><p>"Dr. Hadley!" Jake exclaimed, a mirthful grin exploding across his face. "Look, look, look!" Gesturing to his sketchbook, Jake nodded vigorously, imploring Thirteen to view his work.<p>

"Seems like you've got your tremors under control," Thirteen laughed, moving toward him.

Thirteen struggled to hold in a gasp as she glimpsed a photographic-like portrait of Cameron. Cameron's face was turned upward at a three-quarter angle, as if she were looking in the direction of someone who had called her name. Easily recognizable were Cameron's soft eyes, sloping brows, and pleasantly arched lips. Somehow, Jake's drawing radiated Cameron's kindness in a way that forced Thirteen to sit on the edge of the bed. Jake handed her the sketchbook, inviting her to look more closely.

"Wow," Thirteen breathed. As her eyes traced the curves of the drawing, she was unaware that her countenance began to mimic Cameron's luminousness.

"That's a loving stare if I ever saw one," Jake said quietly.

Looking Jake in the eye, Thirteen felt a crack shoot through her rigid exterior. Her emotional vault was in serious danger of being opened. "Please don't tell anyone," she whispered.

He shook his head, grinning, "That's your war to fight. I'm just a hisss… historr… ian." Jake's smile faded at the resurgence of his slurred speech.

The color drained from Thirteen's face and she felt as though she had been dunked in ice water. _I have to tell him now,_ she thought. _What I came here to do_…

Setting the sketchbook back in Jake's lap, Thirteen crossed her legs, attempting to stall for even seconds longer. "Jake, I have good news and bad news," she started, willing her fingers to cease their twitching. "The good news is that we didn't need to go back to your house to figure out what was wrong with you," she joked. "Also, we determined that you have rheumatic fever, which we're treating now. It's totally curable." Thirteen bit her lip, forcing herself to deliver Jake his fate. "The bad news is that the rheumatic fever was masking an underlying condition." Thirteen opened her mouth to break the news to Jake, but the words died in her throat.

"What is it?" Jake asked, now resembling a terrified puppy.

_What is your problem? Just tell him! _Thirteen thought. "Jake, you have early onset Parkinson's Disease." Thirteen's gaze dropped to her hands, which had stopped fidgeting.

"That's a… a… isss thaaat a bad one?" Jake's slur only augmented his panic.

"By all accounts, no," Thirteen said, meeting his eyes again. "Parkinson's is neurological disorder that will eventually make movement and speech very difficult. The symptoms you have now will be magnified as you get older. But that's far off from now."

"Is it curable?" Jake asked. Thirteen shook her head solemnly. "How long will I have until I… stop functioning?"

"It's difficult to tell," Thirteen started. "People diagnosed with late staged Parkinson's usually live until their seventies or eighties. Early onset is different, obviously. I think you'll still have a few decades of being able to draw well," she said, offering him a tight-lipped smile.

Jake looked straight ahead, having been transported to another planet.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Thirteen whispered, covering his hand with hers. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

Still staring across the room, Jake managed to nod. Thirteen squeezed his hand lightly. "Wh… what do I do now?" he asked, attempting to conquer his stutter, brow creased in determination.

Thirteen drew in a long breath. "Jake, I hope you'll bear with me for a moment," she said, his eyes meeting hers. "I have Hunting's chorea. It's a genetic disease. In fifteen to twenty years, maybe, I'll lose control of my body. I won't be able to hold things and I'll barely be able to move around by myself. I won't be able to form a coherent sentence," Thirteen said, glancing at Jake ruefully. "And then," she continued, "I'll lose control of my mind. I'll be in pain and I'll want to die."

"And yet, here you are," he said slowly. The words slammed against Thirteen's ears, instantly reminding her of when House had uttered the exact phrase to her on her first day back at PPTH.

"And yet, here I am," she breathed, hardly realizing what she was saying.

"How do you get over… something… like this?"

Thirteen felt a shudder run through her. She shook her head, bringing her back to Jake. "You don't," she said simply. "But you learn to deal with it."

"I better get sssstar… started… on my b-b-bucket list," Jake laughed. Thirteen couldn't help but smile at Jake's inextinguishable optimism. "Have you done yours?"

"Done my what?"

"B-bucket liiist."

Thirteen shook her head. "I was headed to Thailand, but I came back to work at the hospital."

"If I may," Jake started slowly, "wh-why haven't you t-t-told Dr. Cam… Cameron… you know."

"Good question," Thirteen sighed. "I guess I'd rather be in pain with her than be in pain without her. And she's married, you know? I don't want to ruin that," she murmured. Jake offered her a sympathetic look. "Anyway, Jake, it seems like your tremors aren't very severe. I think you'll still be drawing for a long time." Standing slowly, Thirteen added, "You'll be discharged soon."

Thirteen made to leave, when Jake said, "Dr. Hadley."

"Yes?" Thirteen felt tired and defeated, as if her feet were sinking into the floor.

"I w-want you to have th-this." Jake carefully ripped his portrait of Cameron out of his sketchbook and held it out to her.

Thirteen stared at the drawing. As she glanced at Jake's shining eyes, out-stretched hand, and the portrait of Cameron, the lock guarding her heart clicked open. She let out a shuddering gasp, grabbed the drawing, and hastily left the room.

She ran to the locker room, bursting through the door. Stumbling into the wall of metal, Thirteen slid down the lockers and clutched her knees to her chest. The drawing fluttered silently to the floor. She slammed her fist against the lockers, cursing herself for falling in love with someone who could never love her back, someone who she didn't have a chance with from the start.

"Why, why, why, why, why," she moaned, pounding her hands against the lockers. As Thirteen's breathing grew increasingly erratic, she felt her throat sealing shut. She gasped for air, her head swimming. _Why, why, why?_ Thirteen felt her body go limp and she slumped over onto the floor. _Why?_

"Thirteen!" a faraway voice called. "Shit. Thirteen? Thirteen!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Whew, that was an interesting chapter to write… Let me know what you think of it! :)


	8. I Don't Do Touchy-Feely

Chapter 8: I Don't Do Touchy-Feely

**A/N:** Thank you so, so much to all the people who have reviewed this story, whether it be regularly or just once. Reading your comments makes me so incredibly happy. Thank you. :)

* * *

><p>Running water splashed somewhere to Thirteen's right. Her head jerked up at the noise.<p>

"You're finally awake," a man said curtly.

"Wha-what?" Thirteen asked groggily, feeling blood rush to her head and hands.

"Okay, maybe not awake," he laughed. Suddenly, Thirteen felt frigid water pour over her head and seep into her clothes. Her eyes shot open. "But you are now."

Seated on the bench before her was House, flashing a sickly sweet smile.

"Fuck you," she grunted, propping herself up on her elbow. Her head felt as though spikes were pushing outward from her brain, trying to crack open her skull.

"As your doctor and savior, I'm offended," House replied innocently.

Thirteen struggled to sit up, but Earth-bending vertigo latched onto her. She opted instead to lean against the lockers for support. "I feel like a truck drove over my brain," she muttered.

"Pretty sure you just fainted."

Thirteen narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't… faint."

"Pretty sure you just fainted," House repeated snarkily.

Now Thirteen was determined to show House that she was fine. Putting weight on her feet, Thirteen attempted to stand. But as soon as her hands relinquished the burden of keeping her body steady to her legs, she swayed and slammed into the lockers. Thirteen tried in vain to out-glare House as he silently ridiculed her for her inability to get to her feet.

"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked in irritation.

"I think the better question is, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be telling a patient he's got a terminal disease?"

"I already did," she retorted, leaning her head against the lockers. The cool metal awarded her an ephemeral remedy to her raging headache.

"And?"

Thirteen's eyes fell on Jake's portrait of Cameron. The angle at which the drawing had fallen made it look as though Cameron was staring up at Thirteen, her gaze soft and kind. _Wait, shit._ _House wasn't supposed to see that._ Once she realized her slip up, she quickly glanced back at House. Unfortunately, House was already reaching for the drawing. Thirteen grimaced. _Whoops_, she thought.

His brow creased as he looked over the drawing. "The patient drew this?"

Thirteen nodded. She expected him to defile the drawing, but House simply set it on the bench next to him. _Expect the unexpected when House is involved_, she thought.

"So have you slept with her yet?" House asked. Thirteen's eyes widened and she stared at him in stony silence.

_Annnd cue the unexpected,_ she thought. _But damn, I should have seen that coming_.

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you don't want to hit that." He nudged her shoulder with his cane.

"None of your business," Thirteen muttered. Her wet clothes clung tightly to her, but only now was she bothered by the cold they imposed on her.

"You are my business," House deadpanned, eyes steely. His cheeks appeared more chiseled and rigid than she had ever remembered them. Although his features appeared severe and barren, Thirteen felt something stir within her at his words. _Maybe he really does care_, she thought. _Even just a little._

Her voice seemed small when she asked, "Excuse me?"

"You're obviously in pain," he said softly. Usually, House's voice projected loudly enough to fill a chapel; but the way he spoke to her felt small, intimate, and precious. As he looked her over, Thirteen felt shame and regret wash over her.

_Have I really become that transparent?_ she thought. _He wasn't as good at reading me before._ _This must be really bad if he's actually acting like a human._

House stared down at her, his jaw set rigidly and his brow creased intently.

Thirteen thought, _Fuck it. What do I have to lose?_

She heaved a great sigh and said softly, "I don't know what to do."

"You have to do _something_." When Thirteen stared back at him, making no move to respond, House continued, "You're stuck. You need to change the status quo."

"And what would you suggest?" she asked, trying to keep the edge out of her voice. They'd only just begun to talk in such confidence, but even so, it pained her discuss something so personal with him.

"Cameron is here and you're in pain. She's causing your pain," he explained. "The best way to no longer be in pain would be to quit."

Thirteen shook her head. "I can't quit."

"Why not?"

Thirteen reached up to brush a heavy, wet lock of hair out of her face. "The only thing worse than not leaving Cameron would be leaving Cameron."

"Then tell her how you feel," House countered.

"I can't," Thirteen muttered in frustration.

House rolled his eyes. "Were you expecting to stay in purgatory for the rest of your life? You have to _do_ something."

"I am."

"No, you're not," he retorted, a harsh edge slipping into his voice. "You're punishing yourself, because you don't want to bring anybody down with you when your Huntington's consumes you."

"I'm protecting her!" Thirteen shouted. "She already married someone who was dying, and look how that turned out for her." Her head pounded and she felt her throat threaten to constrict completely again. "I'm protecting her. Is that a bad thing?" she choked out.

"Of course it's bad! You're in _pain_!" His hand subconsciously gripped his right thigh.

As Thirteen stared at his leg, her gaze softened and she felt her fluttering pulse slow down. Looking him in the eye, she said, "Yes, I'm in pain. But she also makes me happy." Thirteen fought to keep her voice even as she added, "I just want to be happy."

House scowled down at her for a long time, never breaking eye contact. When he finally did speak, his voice had returned to its rare and quiet form. "Just ask yourself if it's worth it," he said, using his cane to stand up. As he was leaving he muttered, "Ask yourself if she's worth it."

Thirteen thought House's last statement wasn't only intended for her, but for himself as well. Once the diagnostician had left the locker room, Thirteen felt the weight pushing down on her chest slowly dissipate. The throbbing in her head and hands had lessened, but the pain still pushed to the forefront of her thoughts. Although it was a great effort, Thirteen managed to stand up by awkwardly using the bench as a stabilizer. She drew in a deep breath, wondering, _Is she worth it?_

As Thirteen straightened up, she glanced at the drawing of Cameron that rested on the bench. Studying the crinkles at the corners of Cameron's eyes and the pleasant curve of her smile, Thirteen resolutely decided, _Yes. She is._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I know this story has been pretty angsty for a while, so you'll be excited to know that a chapter of fluffy, Cadley cuddles is up next. :) I was going to put it as the second half of this chapter, because this one is relatively short, but I thought Thirteen and House needed to have their own chapter. Their relationship is a really interesting one, because I think they have some sort of understanding of each other that House doesn't have with anyone else that's been on his team. So, basically what I'm saying is that I'm still fangirling over the season 7 episode "The Dig." That last moment outside her apartment is sooo good. Pssst. Go watch it. Also, if you read this whole long A/N, tell me what you thought of this chapter! I love reading your reviews. :)


	9. GNI

Chapter 9: GNI

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait, everyone! At long last, some Cadley happies. ;)

* * *

><p>"You're joking."<p>

Cameron batted her eyes and stared at Thirteen earnestly. "Pleeeease?"

"Absolutely not," Thirteen said, crossing her arms over her chest. She desperately tired to maintain a stern demeanor, but Cameron's puppy dog eyes were a formidable force to reckon with.

Reaching her hands out and holding Thirteen's elbows, Cameron executed a final plea, promising, "Next time we go out I'll pay. I don't care what we do. Just—please." Cameron flashed a hopeful grin, the corners of her eyes pinching. And Thirteen was done for.

Heaving an over-exaggerated sigh, Thirteen conceded. "Fine," she muttered, biting her lip to hide a smile. Cameron squealed, jumped in the air excitedly, and ran over to the TV. "But I'm gonna hold you to that!" Thirteen called.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Ahh! I'm so excited!" Cameron exclaimed, a playful lilt slipping into her voice.

As Cameron leaned over the DVD player to pop the disc into the machine, she bounced around gleefully. Thirteen couldn't help but be wrapped up in Cameron's radiance. _She's just so cute!_ Thirteen thought. _And I'm such a pushover_…

"Just so you know, I've been wanting to watch _Pitch Perfect _for _forever_," Cameron gushed, plopping onto the couch.

Thirteen shook her head. "I can't believe I agreed to this," she sighed.

"I bet you'll love it," Cameron said, scrunching up her face adorably. Thirteen hopelessly fought the smile playing on her lips. "In fact, I bet you secretly love musicals."

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Thirteen laughed, reclining comfortably on the couch.

"I'm right aren't I?" Cameron teased. Thirteen's playful eye roll was a sufficient answer for Cameron. As she pressed the play movie button, Cameron raised her eyebrows at Thirteen. "This is going to be fun!"

And it was indeed fun. Despite herself, Thirteen thoroughly enjoyed the movie. When Cameron quietly hummed along to the songs and danced around to the Bellas Finale, Thirteen didn't even try to hide the grins that split across her face. And she found herself laughing out loud at practically everything Fat Amy said.

Cameron sat across from Thirteen at her kitchen counter, perusing a myriad of tea bags. Out of the pile, Thirteen quickly selected lemon chamomile, but Cameron was having a more difficult time deciding.

As the blonde ran her fingers over packets of chai and earl grey, Thirteen said, "I'm sorry you missed your family reunion." She quietly ripped open her tea packet.

Cameron tilted her head at Thirteen, a bemused expression clouding her face. "Family reunion?"

"When House gave us Jake's case, you said you would be missing your family reunion," Thirteen said slowly, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

For a moment, Cameron simply stared at her; then she burst out laughing. Now Thirteen was the one to tilt her head. "Sorry," Cameron said, clearing her throat. "I really didn't want to work the case and have to do over-time in the ER," she explained. "So I made that up."

Thirteen's eyes widened slightly. "My, my," the brunette drawled. "Who would have thought that Ms. Holier-than-thou was capable of telling a self-serving lie?"

Cameron lightly shoved Thirteen's arm. "Shut up," she said, grinning. "I can be a mysterious bad girl, too."

"Who's mysterious?" Thirteen joked. "I'm an open book."

Cameron narrowed her eyes playfully at the brunette. "Oh yeah?"

"That was sarcasm, sweetheart," Thirteen said, leaning back in her chair.

Rolling her eyes Cameron replied, "I know _that_. But let's put that to the test, Thirteen."

Thirteen raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, the kettle whistled, prompting Cameron to attend to it. Thirteen bit her lip and smiled to herself. _Dodged a bullet there,_ she thought in relief.

While her back was turned to Thirteen, Cameron said, "You're not getting out of this so easily." Bringing the kettle to the table, Cameron poured a cup of searing hot water for Thirteen and herself. As she sat back down, Cameron licked her lips enticingly. "We're going to play truth or dare."

Thirteen felt her heart skip a beat. _Ping! Annnd the bullet ricochets_…

"How do you want to go about this?" Thirteen asked, forcing a confident air into her voice. Her eyes dropped to her cup as she dunked the teabag into steaming water. "Truth or dare isn't very exciting with just two people."

"We'll see about that," Cameron countered. Locking her eyes on Thirteen in a devilishly self-assured gaze, Cameron asked, "Thirteen, truth or dare?"

_I can't believe this is really happening_, Thirteen thought._ It's so juvenile, but it's with Cameron so_… _I guess this will be interesting_. "Truth," Thirteen decided.

"Is sex better with men or women?"

Thirteen felt her lips part slightly. _Wow, getting right into it_, she thought. "Women," she answered, quirking an eyebrow and fixing Cameron with a half-lidded stare.

"Really?" Cameron asked, leaning forward, eyes widening. "Why?"

"Ah-ah, your turn's over," Thirteen smirked. "Truth or dare."

Cameron pursed her lips. "Truth."

"Have you ever had sex with a woman?" Thirteen asked. Cameron brought her fingers to her lips as a blush bloomed across her cheeks. "You _have_?" Thirteen didn't know whether she should be impressed or excited or jealous.

Cameron shook her head and giggled, "No, no, no. When I was in college I made out with a few girls, but I couldn't imagine _doing _a girl."

Thirteen shrugged. "That's why there are tops and bottoms," she said, taking a sip of tea. An awkward chuckle escaped Cameron's lips at Thirteen's comment. "Hey, you started down this avenue of conversation. You gotta face the consequences." Feeling especially brassy, Thirteen winked at Cameron. At this, the blonde's blush intensified; but maybe it was just the heat from her tea.

After stories of lost virginity, sexual fantasies, and embarrassing drunk stories had been recounted, Thirteen sighed, "This is getting monotonous." For extra emphasis, she feigned a yawn. "Dare," she challenged.

Cameron crinkled her nose, giving her the squishable appearance of a fluffy bunny. "I dare you to cuddle with me on the couch."

Thirteen couldn't help it. She snorted—quite unattractively. "_That's _the best dare you could think of?"

"Would you do it otherwise?"

_Yes_, Thirteen thought. "No," she said.

"I'm sorry, but I'm a cuddly person and Chase isn't here, so…" Cameron's hopeful, imploring gaze nestled in Thirteen's heart. She didn't even have the strength of will to put up a mock protest.

With a small chuckle, Thirteen heaved herself up from her chair and started for the couch. Cameron squealed in delight and ran over to the couch, sitting down sideways, crossing her legs, and leaning against the couch arm. Once Thirteen had taken a seat beside the blonde, she was wholly unprepared for the intimacy of cuddling Cameron had in mind. The ER head pulled Thirteen down so the brunette's head was in her lap.

"Oh, okay—" Thirteen stuttered, stretching her legs along the length of the couch. Cameron lightly pulled Thirteen's hair so it was splayed across her lap.

"Do you mind if I play with your hair?" Cameron asked, already toying with the ends.

"No," Thirteen breathed. Her eyes fluttered closed as she enjoyed the feeling of Cameron's fingers dancing in her hair.

Cameron remarked, "Your hair is so silky. I love it." Humming "Just The Way You Are" (no doubt inspired by _Pitch Perfect_), Cameron lightly tugged on Thirteen's earlobes, making the brunette lean her head back at the sensation. She felt a moan rumbling in her throat, and it took all her efforts to stifle the sound. For a few moments, the two women enjoyed the serenity of each other's closeness. Nearly drifting off to sleep, Thirteen was startled by a raw snapping noise.

"Sorry!" Cameron squeaked. She awkwardly reached for the coffee table to retrieve the hair tie that had rudely interrupted their tableau of relaxation. "Can you sit up, please?" Cameron asked sheepishly. Begrudgingly, Thirteen obliged. She moved to rest against the couch, but Cameron held her in place. "No, stay. I need to fix your hair."

Again, Cameron's fingers flitted through Thirteen's hair, conjuring what Thirteen assumed to be a complex braid. Out of the corner of her eye, Thirteen spied some pictures of Cameron on a side table. "Is that your college graduation?" Thirteen asked.

"Yeah," Cameron laughed. "Don't I look like a dork hugging my parents?"

Thirteen studied the overjoyed smiles on Cameron's parents' faces. _A dork? Maybe,_ Thirteen thought._ Adorable? Completely_.

"That was a lot of fun though," Cameron said, fingers grazing Thirteen's ear, sending a shudder through her body. Thankfully, Cameron didn't seem to notice. "At the risk of sounding cliché," Cameron laughed, "College seems like yesterday."

"Mmm," Thirteen murmured in agreement. She shifted her gaze to the other photographs dotted across the room. Suddenly, a thought struck her like a blow to the head. "I noticed Jake didn't have many pictures in his house. I thought it was odd," she mused. "I forgot to ask him about that."

"Oh! I did!" Cameron chirped. "When I was taking the history, Jake said an older couple adopted him when he was seven. His parents passed away recently, so he came to Princeton to move on and deal with the loss."

"What does that have to do with the pictures?" Thirteen asked. She hoped she didn't come off too harshly.

"All the pictures of people in his 'old life,' as he said, are still in the attic."

Thirteen pondered that perhaps the reason he only had pictures of himself was because he wanted to remind himself of how much he'd grown. He had changed cities to move on, after all. Maybe he wanted to be a different person as well as be in a different place. _Or he's just a raging narcissist_, she thought with a smile. _But he's not. Not at all._

"Jake was an interesting guy," Thirteen muttered. _I guess I'll never be able to figure him out_.

"I liked him," Cameron laughed. "He reminded me of a little brother and a puppy combined into one."

Thirteen nodded. _Couldn't have said it better myself._

"Okay! All done!" Cameron said. "Go have a look."

Thirteen brought her hand up to run her fingers over the intricate pattern Cameron had weaved into her hair. Slowly, she stood up and made her way to the bathroom to look in the mirror. When she caught a glimpse of herself, she couldn't help but let out a contented sigh. The braid started high on the right side of her head and snaked over the left, neatly encompassing all strands of hair in a crisp and inviting style. _Wow,_ Thirteen thought. _Cameron is amazing_.

"Do you like it?" Cameron asked, eyes glittering.

"I love it," Thirteen replied, offering Cameron a small smile.

Cameron beamed at her. "I'm so glad!" she exclaimed. "Hey, do you want to watch _The Breakfast Club _now? It's on Netflix." The blonde raised an eyebrow enticingly.

Shaking her head, but chuckling lightheartedly, Thirteen followed a bouncing Cameron back to the couch.

"C'mere," Cameron invited, pulling Thirteen in closely. She wrapped Thirteen's arm around her and laid a blanket over them both. "Okay, this is the one where the guy holds up the boom box, right?"

"No, _Say Anything_," Thirteen said, having trouble concentrating now that Cameron was pressed flush against her and had snuggled her head into the crook of Thirteen's neck.

"Anything," Cameron laughed.

Thirteen smiled broadly. "Did you do that on purpose?"

Although Thirteen couldn't see Cameron's face, she felt the aura of a smug expression emanating from the blonde. "It's entirely possible," she replied.

Thirteen laughed a light and clear laugh, one that wasn't forced or obligatory. As she leaned into Cameron, Thirteen stopped trying to fight the smiles tugging at her lips. _Yes,_ Thirteen thought, _she's worth it_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** YAY CUDDLES YAY. It was my intention to have this chapter posted sooner, but I actually had some trouble going forward with the plot (lol what plot cuddles) while keeping them in character. I tried my best. A little teaser about next chapter: House's "Plan B" for breaking up Cam and Chase will take effect. :) As always, I love reading your thoughts on the chapters, so I would be forever grateful if you would leave a review! :)


	10. A Dibalacal Plot

Chapter 10: A Dibalacal Plot

**A/N: PLEASE READ THIS.**

This A/N is going to be long, but please bear with me so the story makes sense. :) (Also, spoilers if you haven't watched season six. But if you haven't, it would make more sense if you watched it before reading this story. Cool, cool.)

I set this story in the beginning of season six, after Thirteen breaks up with Foreman ("The Tyrant"). In the universe of _Insecurity_ (by the way, the title will make sense soon!), Thirteen doesn't go to Thailand, which happened in the canon ("Instant Karma"). In the _Insecurity_-verse, Thirteen starts working in the ER with Cameron (obviously). One big thing is that I wanted to get rid of Foreman, so I shipped him off to Germany (cuz why not). Also in the canon, Cameron and Chase are temporarily back on the team since Thirteen and Taub left. Obviously, that's not the case in _Insecurity_. In _Insecurity_, only Chase and House are on the Diagnostics team at the moment (so let's imagine that House is procrastinating on finding new people).

The important plot point concerning the death of Dibala is what I'm focusing on here. I recently re-watched the episodes "Known Unknowns" and the episode immediately following that one, "Teamwork." In "Known Unknowns," House picks at Cameron and Chase, trying to stir up trouble in their marriage, because Cameron thinks Chase is having an affair. Cameron even admits to Foreman that she followed Chase to the gym one time, but he simply went to the gym. She was embarrassed by her actions, but very defeated and didn't know what else to do. Foreman insists that she talk with Chase, not him. Cameron replies that she tried talking to Chase, and they didn't get anywhere. At the end of the episode, Chase admits that he killed Dibala; Cameron is shocked and doesn't reply.

In "Teamwork," the episode begins the next morning when Cameron tells Chase that she can live with what he's done. She also tells him that she still loves him, but that they need to leave PPTH. Chase and Cameron tell House, Foreman, and Cuddy that they're leaving. Since House's department is now short-staffed, he has Foreman doing all the grunt work. Foreman tells Chase that he owes it to him to help with the case. Chase agrees and Cameron joins him. By the end of the episode, House has convinced Thirteen and Taub to rejoin the team. But most importantly, the reason Cameron forgave Chase comes up. She thinks House is technically responsible for Dibala's death, not Chase. Chase tells her that what he did was his own decision, not House's; he even adds that he would kill Dibala again if presented with the choice. Then he tells her he's going to stay on the team. When Cameron and House talk, she tells him that she loved him and she loved Chase; but she says they're both ruined. She further tells House that Chase has been poisoned so intensely that he can't see right from wrong anymore, or even understand the sanctity of a human life. So, by the end of the episode, Cameron has packed her bags and bids a tearful goodbye to Chase. House tells Wilson that he managed to succeed in getting three out of four of his old team members back. In passing, he remarks that Cameron and Chase's marriage fell apart and Wilson is left slightly bewildered.

Okay, still with me? Awesome. Now, here's how all that relates to my story. To avoid going into confusing and lengthy narratives, this is what's going on with the Dibala fiasco in _Insecurity_. As you know from previous chapters, House found out that Cameron and Chase were having marital problems (and from an educated guess, he determined that it was due to Chase's guilt over killing Dibala). House actually set out to break up Cameron and Chase, because he's an ass, whereas in the canon, it was just a result of his larger plan to regain his old team. In _Insecurity_, House decided not to break up Cameron and Chase, at Wilson's behest. However, when he realized that Thirteen is in love with Cameron, he again changed his mind. Y'all know this.

Whew! Okay, so what's happening in _Insecurity _is that now that Chase is back from his trip to Australia, House is going to get Chase to tell Cameron that he killed Dibala of his own free will; things will play out like they did in canon, minus Foreman, and with Thirteen.

OKAY ALL DONE. The main reason I needed to give you a lengthy plot summary of those episodes is so I can more concisely and swiftly proceed through these events without it getting confusing. Thank you so, so much for reading this monstrosity of an author's note. You rock. On with the story…

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><p>"WILSON!"<p>

Glancing up at House warily as the diagnostician strolled into his office, Wilson instinctively put a protective arm over his sandwich. "What do you want, House?"

"I've come to tell you about the next step in my nefarious plan," House replied wickedly, plopping down on the couch.

Wilson laughed, "You just wanted to say nefarious."

House narrowed his eyes at the oncologist. "Be that as it may," House said, "Plan B is moving forward."

"You're still trying to break up Cameron and Chase?" Wilson groaned. "Give it a rest, House. I know you fantasize about Cameron and Thirteen hooking up—"

"Like you don't," House snorted.

"But," Wilson continued, "you can't just mess with people's relationships."

"Consider this a test," House offered. "If their relationship can last through the nuclear war heads I'm firing at it, then I'll give up. And Thirteen will have to go brood about something else."

"Is there no other alternative?" Wilson sighed. House whipped his head from side to side, a childish grin plastered to his face. "Fine," Wilson muttered.

"So! On to the important part," House said. "Betting."

"What are you planning to do?" Wilson asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Ah, I think you meant to ask me what I've already done!"

"Okay…" House stared at Wilson expectantly. Rolling his eyes, Wilson asked, "What have you already done?"

"Thank you," House said, nodding his head toward Wilson. "Since Chase flew back from Australia last week, I've pushed him far enough so that he's just about to admit to Cameron that he killed Dibala."

"And you think that will break them up?" Wilson asked.

"Have you _met_ Cameron? She's not exactly the type to get into bed with…" House's eyes widened and he gasped dramatically. "Murderers!" he whispered.

"No way. She loves Chase," Wilson said. "They'll get through it."

"A hundred bucks that she leaves him when he tells her."

Wilson stuck out his hand. "You're on."

Standing, House nodded in satisfaction. They shook. "Oh," House added, "I think you'd better get that hundred ready. Chase is going to tell her tonight." Quickly, House reached out and snatched half of Wilson's sandwich. He took a large bite as Wilson glared at him annoyance. "Yummy," House said, tossing the sandwich scraps back on Wilson's plate.

Sighing, Wilson pushed his plate away as House left with a flourish.

* * *

><p>Splayed across the couch, Thirteen scrolled through movies to watch on Netflix streaming. It was Thursday, so drinks with Cameron was normally on the schedule. But tonight, Cameron had called to cancel, because she needed to finally talk to Chase about what was bothering him. As she scrolled past <em>The Breakfast Club<em>, Thirteen smiled. She remembered holding Cameron close to her, Cameron's nose brushing her jaw when the blonde turned to look up at her.

A shrill ringing shattered Thirteen's thoughts. Cameron was calling her.

"Hello?"

"Can I come over?" Cameron asked, voice brittle.

Thirteen instinctively sat up. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Cameron immediately said. After a moment, she muttered, "No."

"Do you want me to come get you?" Thirteen asked softly.

A sharp sniffle. "Yes, please."

"Where are you?" Thirteen asked, trying to keep her voice even.

_If some asshole hurt her, I swear—_ Thirteen thought, already zipping up boots and pulling on a coat.

"The park near my apartment," Cameron breathed.

Thirteen grabbed her keys and slammed the door behind her as she left. "I'll be there soon," she said, jogging down the hall. Instead of waiting for the elevator, Thirteen headed straight for the stairs. She leapt down the stairs whole flights at a time.

"Thirteen?" Cameron asked.

As Thirteen hurled herself over the steps outside her apartment building she replied, "Yes?"

"Will you stay on the phone?"

Thirteen jammed her keys in the door of her car. "Yes."

"What are you doing right now?"

"I'm turning on the car," Thirteen said, firing up the engine.

_Keep her talking, _Thirteen thought. _She needs to keep talking_.

"What do you see, Cameron?"

As Thirteen sped down the street, seconds stretched into minutes as she waited for Cameron to reply. _Don't rush her, don't rush her._

"There's a picnic bench in front of me," Cameron said softly. "Whoever was there didn't throw their fast food wrappers away."

Thirteen laughed dryly. _Only Cameron would worry about the environment when she seems to be falling apart_.

"What else do you see?" Thirteen asked, pushing nearly double the speed limit.

"I, uh," Cameron started, drawing in a long breath. "I see the dirt on my boots. I really like these boots," she laughed. Although the sound portrayed delight, Cameron's laugh sounded strangled and empty.

Thirteen felt a sob claw at her throat, and she had to cover her mouth with one hand to stifle the noise. _Cameron_…

"And I see the dew on the bench. I always thought dew came in the morning, but I suppose it happens in the night."

Thirteen screeched to a stop when she encountered a red light. Drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, she waited for the light to change. A red glow bathed the ominously empty street, which only made Thirteen more impatient. She grasped for things that could keep Cameron talking. "What kinds of plants are there?" she finally asked.

"There are some purple flowers in the bushes," Cameron said.

As soon as the stoplight flickered to green, she put the petal to the floor. "What else?"

"Mostly just grass and trees," Cameron replied, sounding almost bored.

Thirteen whipped around the corner, pulling up to an open park. On a bench nearby, she spotted the blonde, who was perched on the bench, holding her knees to her chest. Immediately, Thirteen killed the engine and ran to Cameron.

"Cameron," Thirteen said, kneeling in front of the blonde.

"Hi," Cameron replied softly.

Thirteen's eyes were wide and searched Cameron's face for the cause of her distress. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Cameron bit her lip. She tried to smile, but a sob thundered through her body. As Cameron began to cry, she shook her head. No, no, no.

Thirteen stood up slowly. _Should I hold her? Should I take her to the car?_ She felt the great canyon stretch between them again, and suddenly felt detached from Cameron. _How can I help her? Am I even the person who should be doing this?_

Thirteen looked around, staring into the night. The clear darkness was shattered by Cameron's heartbreaking sobs. _She called me. Me. _Cameron was floating up into the sky again, trickling through Thirteen's grasp.

_Let's go home_, she thought. Carefully, Thirteen bent over and scooped Cameron up bridal style. She managed to catch the blonde just before she drifted off into oblivion.

"It's gonna be okay," Thirteen whispered.

Cameron continued to cry.

When Cameron was secured in the passenger seat, Thirteen slowly turned on the ignition. "There are tissues in the glove compartment," she said.

Cameron laughed softly. "I have some in my purse," she replied, voice gravelly. But instead of reaching for a tissue, she wiped her eyes with heels of her palms. Drawing in a long breath, Cameron shook her head slightly. "Sorry," she chuckled. "I don't know what just happened there."

"Are you okay?" Thirteen asked, fixing her brilliant gaze on the blonde.

Cameron offered her a close-lipped smile. "No," she said. "But I'm better now."

Thirteen nodded at her. "Let's go," she said, pulling out into the street. "I've got a nice 2002 Bordeaux that's begging to be opened."

Thirteen's gaze was focused on the road, so she didn't see the grateful smile that curled Cameron's lips. She didn't see the smile that held Cameron on the Earth with her.

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><p><strong>AN:** This chapter seemed to fly by as I was writing it. I guess I'm better at writing angst than fluff. Haha. Sorry it was short! The author's note was hella long. Next chapter: Shit will hit the fan. Cadley at last? Buckle your seat belts—it's gonna be a bumpy ride.


	11. Just One Kiss

Chapter 11: Just One Kiss

**A/N: **As always, thanks for the reviews! In this chapter I'll be referencing some lyrics from a song by Scars On 45 called "Insecurity" (gee, I wonder where the title of this story came from?). Give it a listen if you have time. :)

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><p>Swirling the deep red liquid around in her glass, Thirteen waited for Cameron to say something. Anything. Thirteen leaned back in her chair, giving her a relaxed demeanor. In reality, her shoulders were scrunched up rigidly and her leg fidgeted.<p>

Across the table, Cameron was slumped over on her arms, wine untouched.

_What could Chase have possibly done that would crush her like this?_ Thirteen thought. _How do I help her?_

Thirteen took a small sip of wine, eyes dropping to the tablecloth. Slowly, her finger traced the flowers that spread across the table. The longer Cameron remained silent, the farther away Thirteen felt from Cameron. Thirteen couldn't bear the silence any more.

"Cameron," she said hesitantly, voice sounding too loud. "What happened?"

Breathing in deeply, Cameron straightened up. She didn't meet Thirteen's eyes. Pursing her lips, Cameron contemplated how to express her thoughts. "He wasn't cheating," Cameron sighed at last. She reached for her wine glass and took a long sip. "This is good," she laughed, pointing to the glass.

Thirteen simply stared at her. Her leg continued shaking.

Finally matching Thirteen's gaze, Cameron offered the brunette a watery smile and continued, "Do you remember that case with the African dictator? Dibala?"

"Vaguely."

"I think it was before you came back to PPTH. He was a horrible man," Cameron lamented, eyebrows knitting together. "He committed genocides in his country." She ran her index finger around the rim of the glass. "I wanted to kill him," Cameron admitted, voice stone cold.

Thirteen's eyes widened, eyebrows shooting upward. _You? Wanting to kill someone? _Before Cameron could see her silent shock, Thirteen blinked rapidly to recover a neutral expression. "What happened to him?" Thirteen whispered.

"We thought we had the right diagnosis, so we treated him for that. But he died," Cameron said, interlocking her fingers and staring down at them. "And what Chase has been hiding from me," she breathed, voice catching. "Is…"

Cameron bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut. Shaking her head slowly, she struggled to return her breathing to normal.

"It's okay," Thirteen whispered, tentatively laying her hand over Cameron's.

Tears trickled from Cameron's eyes, but the blonde didn't bother to wipe them away. She covered her mouth with her hand to quiet her sobs.

Thirteen felt tears threaten to fall from her eyes, but she couldn't let that happen. _Be strong_, Thirteen thought. _She needs you_.

For the second time that night, Thirteen scooped Cameron up bridal style. She carried the blonde to her bedroom, where she tucked Cameron under the sheets.

"I'll take the couch," the brunette said after a moment, retreating to the living room.

"No!" Cameron yelped, terror gripping her voice. She reached out a hand toward Thirteen as if to draw her back. "Stay. Please."

Thirteen stared at her. As she studied the raw loneliness in Cameron's visage, she made up her mind. Thirteen crawled into bed with Cameron. Once the brunette was situated under the covers, Cameron pressed her forehead to Thirteen's collarbone and wrapped an arm around her waist. Thirteen stiffened at their closeness. Slowly, she relaxed. She tucked her chin slightly so that Cameron's head was nestled between her jaw and chest. Lightly caressing Cameron's cheek, Thirteen then allowed her fingers to tangle in Cameron's hair.

"He killed Dibala," Cameron murmured. Thirteen's eyes widened, and she was grateful Cameron couldn't see. "My husband killed someone," Cameron cried, wet droplets soaking into Thirteen's shirt.

Cameron hugged Thirteen closer, and Thirteen held her for a long time.

* * *

><p>House disdainfully tossed five twenty-dollar bills on Wilson's desk. Shaking his head and grinning, the oncologist collected the cash.<p>

"I know you're skeptical," Wilson chuckled, "but love does exist."

House slumped onto the couch. "Okay, so she didn't leave him. _Yet_."

Wilson snapped his head up. "House," he said pointedly. "No."

"Aw, come _on_! She came to work today and they're all happy-go-lucky. But you know she'll leave him if I just—"

"No," Wilson dismissed. "I agreed to this bet, I won, it's over. Move on."

"I know I can get them to break up," House replied confidently.

"House, you said you'd leave them alone after this."

Smirking, House retorted, "And you believed me?" Rolling his eyes, he added, "News flash: everybody lies."

Wilson sighed, "Look, I'll give you the hundred back if you leave them alone."

"Not a chance, Wilson." Grinning, House asked, "How about we double down?"

"No," Wilson said. "House, I'm not indulging you this time."

"I'm going to do it anyway, so you might as well try to win some money."

Glaring at House, Wilson finally said, "Fine. Two hundred bucks that you can't break them up. I guess that goes for all time?"

House laughed, "Not all time. I give it another week."

Begrudgingly, Wilson shook House's hand.

* * *

><p>A knock on the door roused Thirteen from the couch where she was just starting the next episode of <em>Orange Is The New Black<em>. She was dressed in leggings and an olive sweater, but when she opened the door, she felt naked. Standing before her was a disheveled Cameron, wrapped in a beige overcoat and red scarf. The blonde's mascara was smudged and her eyes were puffy.

"Cameron," Thirteen breathed.

"Hi," the blonde whispered.

Thirteen stared at her for a moment, trying to take in the crumpled figure before her. Last week when she retrieved Cameron from the park, Thirteen recognized that the blonde at least could move past the pain Chase's actions caused her. But now, Cameron appeared so defeated. Thirteen swallowed hard, trying to figure out what to do.

"Oh," Thirteen blurted. "Do you want to come in?"

_Smooth_, she thought.

But Cameron shook her head. "If I come in, I'll never want to leave."

Leaning against the doorframe, Thirteen bit her lip. _You don't have to leave, then._

Cameron took a deep breath and continued, "I just wanted to tell you in person. I didn't blame Chase for killing Dibala, because I thought House was responsible. Not directly, but…" She trailed off, eyes straying to her fingers, which fiddled with the buttons on her coat.

"But?" Thirteen asked softly.

The blonde shrugged half-heartedly. "But Chase said it was his choice. He would do it again. That's when I realized House poisoned him to the point where he can't see right from wrong. He doesn't even see the sanctity of a human life anymore."

"Are you leaving?" Thirteen asked. She meant to ask if she was leaving Chase, but at the moment she was more afraid that Cameron might leave her.

Cameron nodded. "I can't be with him anymore. And I need to leave PPTH. I have to get away."

Thirteen felt walls closing in around her lungs. Wrapping her arms around herself, she tried to conceal her breathing, which grew steadily more erratic.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say goodbye," Cameron said. "I'll miss you. And I'll keep in touch."

Cameron was once again on the other side of the great chasm. As the blonde turned to leave, House's words thundered across the loudspeaker of Thirteen's brain: "_Do_ something!"

Before Thirteen could stop herself, she hurled herself off the cliff edge. Grabbing Cameron's elbow, Thirteen spun her around and kissed her.

_"__Well, it's just one kiss and it'll all crash down."_

Cameron's lips were soft and warm.

_"__Ignorance is bliss in this cold and wet town."_

When Thirteen pulled away, she dropped her hand from Cameron's elbow. Cameron staggered backward a step.

_"__With a single glance she cuts me to the bone."_

Cameron's eyes were wide and flitted across Thirteen's face.

_ "__If I could bring myself to venture through this bold and bruised door, we might make it."_

Cameron brought her fingers to her lips. And then she ran.

"Cameron!" Thirteen called, staring after the woman as she retreated down the hall. "Cameron!" She had one hand on the cliff edge.

The blonde turned the corner and never looked back.

Thirteen stared down the hall, where she thought she could still glimpse a vestige of Cameron's hair, a last speck of sunshine. But Cameron was gone. Thirteen drew in a long breath and released her grip on the rock face. Instantly, she crumpled to the floor. In the hallway of her apartment building, Thirteen tumbled into the abyss.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Coupled with the song "Insecurity," the moment of the kiss and what came after was the idea that bloomed into this entire story. I had to do a lot to get to this point, but I absolutely loved writing this story so far. Be not afraid, it's far from over. :)


	12. Rock Bottom

Chapter 12: Rock Bottom

**A/N: **Trigger warning for self-harm and contemplation of suicide.

* * *

><p>"You almost killed a patient this morning, Dr. Hadley," Cuddy deadpanned, fixing Thirteen with a stern gaze. "When Dr. Cameron left, I promoted you to Head of the ER, because I thought you could handle it. Was I wrong?"<p>

"No," Thirteen answered, her tone mechanical.

The Dean of Medicine leaned forward on her desk. Voice glazed with disappointment, she replied, "The past month you've had this job is leading me to believe otherwise."

Standing erect, Thirteen set her jaw rigidly and matched Cuddy's gaze. For a long moment, the women stared at each other in silence.

"If you don't clean up your act, I won't just demote you," Cuddy snapped suddenly, "I will fire you." She stood slowly, holding Thirteen's steely gaze the entire time. "Do you understand?" she asked, harshly articulating each word.

Thirteen simply nodded. Internally, Cuddy screamed in frustration. She wondered if she had any hope of reaching this woman; she also wondered if the bright doctor who shrouded herself with a number was no longer reachable.

"I can't tell you how to live your life," Cuddy started.

Eyebrows creasing together, Thirteen obviously thought, _Then don't_.

"However," Cuddy continued, "your substance abuse has carried over into the work place."

"Hardly abuse," Thirteen scoffed. She couldn't help herself.

"Excuse me?" Cuddy asked, eyes alight with fire. Arms crossed, voice sharpened, she continued, "Dr. Hadley, if you cannot recognize that your personal choices are affecting your work, affecting other people, then we have a serious problem."

Thirteen pursed her lips.

"Last year when I caught you in exam room two, hung over with an IV in your arm, I thought that was the last of your high living," Cuddy sighed, sitting down in her chair again. "Whatever triggered a resurgence of this… self-destructive streak," she said, circling her hands in the air aimlessly, "is so potent that you almost killed a patient. You used to give a damn about people," Cuddy lamented. "You used to give a damn about yourself."

Thirteen's eyes widened slightly at Cuddy's words. _Now Cuddy can figure me out, too? Either House told her, she's gotten better at Sherlocking, or I'm in a shitty place,_ she thought.

"Dr. Hadley, for the sake of your patients, for the reputation of this hospital, and for your own good," Cuddy said, "you need to get your life together."

Thirteen stared at the Dean of Medicine, who matched her gaze with equal force.

"Now get out of my office," Cuddy sighed, gesturing toward the door.

With a final glance at Cuddy, Thirteen turned on her heel and left.

* * *

><p>Staring down at her half-laced Converse, Thirteen contemplated her conversation with Cuddy earlier that day. <em>More like a lecture than a conversation<em>, Thirteen thought, rolling her eyes. _But she has a point_.

Since Cameron left, Thirteen had buried herself in her work. Broken limbs, burns, false alarms, and the ungodly amount of paperwork that came with her new position as Head of the ER only distracted her for about a week.

Thirteen was through with one-night stands. In fact, since she broke up with Foreman, she had forced herself into a cruel celibacy. At first, she could bear the lack of human closeness, because she had tricked herself into believing that she had a chance with Cameron. Now, Thirteen's libido had flatlined. She couldn't bring herself to be physically intimate with anyone after the loss of emotional intimacy she had with Cameron. For the first time in her life, Thirteen was repulsed by sex.

In the time she didn't work, Thirteen started drinking. Excessively. Down at McNally's Bar, she became a staple at the end of the bar once her shift was over. The bartender could read her mood as she walked in the door and served her the appropriate drink. Sipping her alcohol alone, receding into herself, Thirteen emanated a harsh demeanor. She didn't talk to anyone, besides the necessary exchanges with the bartender. More than once, men had approached her; but with a cold stare and dismissive frown, they learned to no longer make advances.

Last night after a particularly trying day (she found a photo of Cameron and Chase that Cameron had forgotten in her old office, which was now Thirteen's office), she cracked open that bottle of 2002 Bordeaux she had shared with Cameron not too long ago and never went to sleep.

Thirteen arrived at work in a haze, like the alcohol had settled in her appendages and weighed her down. It wasn't until she was cutting open a thirty-one-year-old man with a bullet in his gut that she realized she couldn't handle being intoxicated while working. Thirteen had to hand it to House for solving cases while his mind hung in a perpetual cloud of vicodin, but she couldn't handle it. A nurse pulled her away from the patient as another doctor swooped in to operate on the man and correct her mistake.

_I really screwed up today_, Thirteen thought. _Cuddy's right._

Kicking off her shoes, Thirteen paced around her living room. For twenty minutes she circled the couch, the table, the chairs, pondering how to replace her drinking with some other pain-numbing entity.

When Thirteen felt as though she had worn a hole through her floor, she decided to give it a rest. She walked to the kitchen and extracted a jar of peanut butter from the refrigerator. Reaching for a two slices of bread, Thirteen's mind again wandered to alcohol. She knew she had a half empty bottle of vodka in the cabinet.

_But if anything else happens, Cuddy will fire me, _Thirteen thought in dismay. _And then I would have no distractions at all_.

Impatiently, she opened a drawer and grasped the first knife she wrapped her fingers around. As she pulled the knife out, it nicked her finger, drawing blood.

Thirteen set the knife on the counter and ran her finger under the faucet, grimacing as the cold droplets mixed with her cut. Although only a small and shallow wound, the throbbing emanating from her finger temporarily shrouded her in a fog of pain. Suddenly, all she could focus on was the ache in her finger. Nothing else could infiltrate her thoughts. And she liked that.

Thirteen again opened the drawer and withdrew a hefty kitchen knife. She turned it over in her hand, observing the light running along the blade.

_Am I really going to do this?_ Thirteen thought, staring intently down at the knife. She immediately dismissed the idea, shoving the knife back in the drawer.

"Idiot," she muttered, squeezing her head with her hands. "What were you thinking?"

She returned to aimlessly wandering her living room. As Thirteen wore an invisible rut between her furniture, she grew increasingly more terrified. If she couldn't drink, or take any other drugs to numb the pain, what was left?

_Is there any point in living?_ The thought zipped through her head like a flash of light. Although ephemeral, the thought did occur to her. She quickly shot it down. _I help people, _Thirteen thought. _I save lives. I have a purpose_.

"I have a purpose," Thirteen ground out. "I matter." As she forced these words out of her mouth, Thirteen realized that she was again standing in the kitchen before the knife drawer.

_I have a purpose_, she insisted. _But this hurts too much. I'm out of distractions._

She flung open the drawer and curled her fingers around the knife handle. Pulse quickening, Thirteen lay the flat side of the knife along her wrist.

_Wrists are no good, _she mused. _People will find out_.

In one swift motion, Thirteen rid herself of her shirt, letting it pool on the floor beside her feet. As she stood alone in her kitchen, the brunette lightly prodded her stomach with the edge of the knife. She drew in a long breath, trying in vain to steady her trembling hands. Dragging the sharp edge across her stomach, Thirteen made up her mind. She pushed down and pulled the knife across her skin.

Immediately, Thirteen cried out. The knife, slick with blood, clattered to the floor. She grabbed a towel and ran it under the faucet. As she pressed the wet cloth into her wound, Thirteen had difficulty focusing on anything other than the searing pain emanating from her stomach. And that's exactly what she wanted.


	13. Shattered

Chapter 13: Shattered

**A/N:** Trigger warning for self-harm. I know last chapter was rough. This one was so interesting to write. Thanks for sticking with me through the dark stuff. (Cameron may or may not come back soon! I guess you'll just have to keep reading.)

* * *

><p>Thirteen pulled open the door to the doctor's lounge, intending to beeline for the refrigerator. She hadn't eaten breakfast, because she couldn't bring herself to even set foot in her kitchen after last night. Much to her dismay, her late breakfast would have to wait, because looming over the refrigerator was House. And he heard her enter the room.<p>

"Well, if it isn't my favorite… what slur are you in the mood for today, Thirty-one?" House grinned.

"Just came for some food," Thirteen muttered. Her eyes immediately focused on the basket of fruit that rested on the kitchen island. As she reached for an apple, she was surprised when House's cane denied her access to the fruit basket.

_I really shouldn't be that surprised, though_, she thought in annoyance. _Just House flexing his compulsive asshole muscle_…

"Okay, I thought of one," House said. "Raging drunk." He grinned broadly, but pursed his lips when his comment was met with Thirteen's cold glare. "No, that's not it," he muttered, tapping his chin. After a moment, he snapped his fingers. "_Despondent_ drunk! Yes, that's the one," he chuckled.

"House, I'm so not in the mood today," Thirteen warned, moving toward the fruit basket.

The diagnostician shooed her back with his cane. Thirteen groaned. Peering in the basket of fruit, House selected a succulent red apple. He tossed it to Thirteen, and raised an eyebrow when she instinctively caught it.

"Run along now," House insisted, raising his cane and jabbing the end in her stomach.

Thirteen had to bite her lip to contain a shout of pain, but the grimace that marred her face unfortunately did not go unnoticed by House.

"Don't tell me Cameron got you pregnant," House deadpanned, staring at her quizzically. "Is that why she really left?"

"Fuck you," Thirteen spat. She instinctively held a hand over her stomach.

"A bit of a _touchy_ subject?" he asked, brandishing his cane at her again. He feinted right, then left, and then prodded her left hip with his cane.

Thirteen willed her eyes to burn a hole through House's skull.

"Please, don't let me stop you from talking," House continued. "I wouldn't want to _cut _you off."

The brunette's eyes widened.

"Bingo," House mused, a note of cruel satisfaction slipping into his voice.

"Fuck you," Thirteen muttered again. She shot him one last glare before hurrying out of the doctor's lounge, one hand protectively clutching her stomach and the other gripping the apple House had offered her.

* * *

><p>Thirteen sat in her bathtub, marinating in the lukewarm water. She swirled the scarce and deflated bubbles around with her hands. Submerging a wrinkly hand in the cloudy water, she wrapped her fingers around the handle of the kitchen knife with which she was so well acquainted. Lifting it out of the water, she marveled at how the light dribbled off the blade with the water droplets, which frantically dove back into the larger pool. Heaving a great sigh, Thirteen pushed herself out of the tub, clutching the knife the entire time.<p>

* * *

><p>Slamming her locker, Thirteen headed for the door to the locker room, entirely ready to sink into her bed sheets and hope to never wake up. A multi-vehicle accident kept the ER busy for the entire day and much of the evening, and the paperwork that ensued chained her to her desk for a few additional hours. Thirteen was exhausted.<p>

Just as she was reaching for the door handle, the door swung open. Thirteen immediately raised a hand to protect her face, but the corner of the door clipped her forehead.

"Fuck," Thirteen muttered, holding a hand to her temple. Raising her gaze to face her accidental assailant, she found herself instantly irritated at the sight of House's rugged face. "What do you want, House?" she asked harshly.

"About to have bathroom sex. The prostitute felt more comfortable in the locker room than in my office. Too many glass walls," he shrugged.

"Great," Thirteen muttered. "Bye." She moved to exit the locker room, but House refused to budge. "House, I'd like to go home," she sighed.

"We need to talk." His voice had taken on its rare and precious form again. Drawing in a slow breath, Thirteen withdrew back to the rows of lockers, taking a seat on the bench. "You need to leave PPTH," House said, leaning against the wall of metal.

A crease formed between Thirteen's eyebrows. "Why?"

"I told you do to something to change the status quo. And you did." His gaze dropped to the floor, and he perused it as though it held the answers the universe's great questions. "And I'm sorry it didn't work out," he whispered after a long time.

Thirteen stared up at his thin face, which seemed to grow more pallid as his voice grew more soft. "Then why do I need to leave?"

"What you're doing is eating away at you."

"What does it matter?" Thirteen asked in irritation. "I'm dying anyway."

"The fact that you have Huntington's doesn't prevent you from living a fulfilling life," House said slowly. Uttering such words of encouragement was foreign to him.

"What are you, the new poster boy for the It Gets Better Campaign?" Thirteen scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I thought you were above self-harm," House replied flatly.

"Back attcha," Thirteen muttered.

"You're depressed."

"You are, too," Thirteen snapped.

"No, I'm unimpressed. This life so often bores me," House explained, twirling his cane across his fingers. "So I make things interesting."

"By overdosing on vicodin, by electrocuting yourself, by blurring out the world," Thirteen shot back. House smartly caught the cane in his hand. Shaking her head, Thirteen said, "Your self-destructive behavior is the same as mine." Thirteen stood up, frustrated at the turn this conversation had taken.

"Au contraire, mon cheri," House said, blocking her path. "You've got a quickly ticking clock on life. You were doing pretty well, keeping time. But you've got nothing to live for, now that your true love ran away, huh?"

Slowly, House reached out and lifted the hem of Thirteen's blouse. She was frozen in place. Across her stomach, long, angry gashes were carved into her skin. House's eyes softened, but his lips hardened into a thin line.

"The only thing keeping you alive is that you feel obligated to help people," House muttered, dropping her blouse. "Is living really so terrible that you need to do _that_ to yourself?"

Thirteen stared past House's head. She couldn't answer, because she couldn't articulate why she felt so compelled to damage herself. In her own mind, she knew that cutting was the only effective distraction from her heartbreak. But there was no way she would tell him that. As House's eyes searched her face, Thirteen felt her lungs collapsing in on themselves. She felt her throat constricting.

"Thirteen," House whispered, "she left. You should, too." His soft words and strangely soothing voice gradually slowed her racing pulse. House continued, "You're digging your grave here. You need to get away."

Thirteen felt her lungs expand and contract, expand and contract. _He's right_, she thought. _I should leave._

"I can't," she replied solemnly.

"In case you haven't noticed, there are other doctors in this hospital."

He managed to elicit a small smile from the brunette. "I need to face myself here," Thirteen explained. Raising an eyebrow at him, she added, "Running away isn't really my style." It was a lie, of course. But it was a believable one.

The corners of House's lips curled upward. "That's my girl," he whispered. Thirteen almost didn't hear him.

"Thank you," Thirteen breathed, feeling her throat reopen.

"At least I didn't ridicule you for not randomly banging hot chicks to dull the pain," House replied matter-of-factly. "That was so effective before."

Thirteen narrowed her eyes at him. "Seems like you just did."

"Oops," House shrugged.

Thirteen rolled her eyes, but there was no exasperation in the gesture.

"So will you stop cutting?" he asked.

Thirteen matched House's imploring gaze ruefully. "No," she decided. "It's the best way to blur out the bad things. And it doesn't hurt anyone," she shrugged. "Win-win."

"It hurts you," House countered. "Lose-lose."

Thirteen shook her head. "It's how I've managed to cope. No one will take that away from me." Thirteen cast a long glance at House. "This pain is the only way to mask the worse pain. Of all people, I would think you could respect choosing the lesser of two evils."

With that, Thirteen strode out of the locker room.

* * *

><p>Thirteen sat perched on her kitchen counter, wearing only sweatpants and a bra. Holding the knife blade to her stomach, she finally found an unmarked patch of skin on her abdomen. Just as she was about to rip open her skin, she heard a knock on the door.<p>

The brunette closed her eyes and leaned her head against the cabinet. She willed the knocking to cease, but to no avail.

"Thirteen?" a voice from behind the door called.

Thirteen's eyes shot open. _It's Cameron_. _It's Cameron. It's Cameron._ Her limbs seemed filled with concrete. She couldn't move.

"Can I come in?" Cameron asked, knocking a few more times. Seemingly as an afterthought, she added, "It's me, Cameron."

A brittle silence.

"Thirteen? I hope you're decent, because I'm coming in," Cameron continued. "House gave me a key to your place."

As she heard the lock tumble, Thirteen felt her stomach bottom out. _Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Not like this,_ Thirteen thought frantically. _Not like this_. Panicking, Thirteen jumped down from the counter and whipped her head around, searching for her shirt. As she scanned the kitchen for it, her hands trembled. _Where the fuck is my shirt?_

"Thirteen!" Cameron gasped, clasping her hands over her mouth. "Oh. Oh, God."

Shifting her gaze toward the voice that called her chosen name, Thirteen was wholly unprepared for the affect Cameron's presence would have on her. Thirteen felt weightless. Seeing Cameron again threatened to send her flying off into the far reaches of space. Stumbling backward, eyes fixed on the crease between Cameron's eyebrows, Thirteen made contact with the kitchen table. Her hands slammed into the edge of the table and the knife she didn't know she was still holding clattered on the table's surface.

Cameron didn't move. Her eyes flickered between Thirteen's petrified and bewildered expression and the slashes across her stomach.

When Thirteen felt as though she could breathe again, she straightened up and crossed her arms over her belly to hide the cuts.

"House told me you were going to kill yourself," Cameron whispered between her fingers.

"Well you don't have to worry about that," Thirteen muttered, dropping her gaze to the floor. As she leaned against the kitchen table she added, "I'm not suicidal."

Cameron took a few tentative steps toward Thirteen, stopping at arm's length from the brunette. "Then why…?"

Thirteen just fixed Cameron with her brilliant stare.

"Oh," Cameron said faintly. "I'm sorry." And she really was.

Thirteen bit her lip. "It's not your fault. It's mine."

"I shouldn't have run away like that. I shouldn't have left you," Cameron insisted, lower lip quivering. "You're in so much pain."

The brunette again lowered her gaze, eyes resting on the shiny black buttons of Cameron's coat. She almost wanted to believe that Cameron wasn't really there, wasn't really sorry, and didn't know the extent of her wallowing. Even though Thirteen didn't see the way Cameron was looking at her, she could feel Cameron's empathetic anguish slam into her. She was drowning in Cameron's compassion.

"Why would you do this to yourself?"

"Does it matter?" Thirteen muttered, glancing anywhere but into Cameron's enveloping gaze. Once she locked eyes with the blonde, she knew she wouldn't be able to look away this time.

"Of course it matters," Cameron sighed. Thirteen could hear the encouraging smile in her voice. "Is it because of me?" she asked quietly.

Thirteen's silence was her confirmation.

"I'm sorry I left. But I'm here now," Cameron offered, slowly reaching her hands out to cup Thirteen's cheeks.

Thirteen's eyes fluttered closed at Cameron's touch, and she didn't even try to suppress the content sigh that tumbled from her lips.

"Is it also because of your Huntington's?" Cameron asked, pressing her body closer to Thirteen's.

"I guess," she muttered. "I'll be dead soon anyway."

"You are only dying," Cameron whispered, running her thumbs across Thirteen's cheeks. "You are not dead."

Cameron's words struck Thirteen like a bolt of lightning. She clutched Cameron's hands, holding them to her face. Cameron's hands grounded her, prevented her from soaring into oblivion. Leaning her forehead into the blonde's, Thirteen looked at Cameron from under feathery lashes. As she stared into Cameron's kind, hopeful eyes, Thirteen felt the concrete walls surrounding her heart crumbled to dust. With a soul-breaking gasp, Thirteen began to cry.

Cameron had the kindest eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Over the last two chapters, I've ended most of the scenes with Thirteen leaving someone else's presence. I think it's poetic in a sense, because she kept running away from her problem, never facing it. And with Cameron's return, Thirteen is forced to tackle her problem head on. That's when she finally stays. I think it's interesting. :) Cameron's line "You are only dying, you are not dead" is from a Shane Koyczan poem called "Pinned To the Dish." I loved writing the last part of this chapter. The face holding moment was the second idea I had for this story after the kiss. Let me know what you thought about this chapter!


	14. From the Ashes

Chapter 14: From the Ashes

**A/N: **Hey everyone! Thank you so much for your positive feedback! Y'all rock. :)

* * *

><p>The throbbing in Thirteen's temple stirred her from brittle slumber. Rolling over on her back, she unleashed a heavy sigh. Although her eyelids seemed determined to remain sealed shut, she willed her eyes to open. Through the nebulous glow of morning light, Thirteen faintly recognized the texture of her bedroom ceiling. She brought a hand to her forehead and instantly felt a tender patch of skin.<p>

"Oww…" she moaned groggily. "Wha… the hell?"

Thirteen sat up on her elbow, still holding one hand to her head. As the blankets slid off her, she felt a chill, immediately drawing attention to the fact that Thirteen had fallen asleep in her bra and sweatpants. Blinking rapidly, she managed to clear some of the sleep from her eyes. She was in her bed. Alone.

Beside her in bed, Thirteen thought she could feel the vestige of Cameron's warmth. Once the brunette started crying last night, she was inconsolable. All Cameron could do was hold her tightly as Thirteen's sobs rang out through the empty night.

Thirteen immediately felt a heady feeling overtake her at the loss of her anchor to the Earth. She began to float upward against her will.

"Cameron?" she called, voice scratchy from crying and sleep.

From the kitchen, Thirteen heard the din of pots clanging. After a moment, the clanging ceased. Into her bedroom burst Cameron, brighter than the sun itself.

"Good morning!" the blonde chirped, grinning broadly.

How surreal it was to see Cameron in the doorway of her bedroom. But Thirteen had difficulty savoring the bliss Cameron awarded to her morning due to the pain emanating from her forehead. Thirteen flopped on her back again, rubbing her temple and groaning.

"Hey, are you okay?" Cameron asked, smile faltering.

"I'm fine," Thirteen muttered, squeezing her eyes shut tightly.

Cameron knelt beside the bed. "Tell that to your face." Brushing back Thirteen's hair, Cameron gasped, "Oh my God! Thirteen!"

"Owowow what?" Thirteen grumbled, batting Cameron's hand away.

"You've got a stellar bruise," Cameron stated, standing up. "Please don't tell me you slammed your head against the wall."

As Thirteen gingerly rubbed her temple, she remembered how the bruise had been inflicted. "House," Thirteen groaned. "He accidentally hit me with a door."

"Accidentally?" Cameron asked, bringing a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh.

Thirteen grabbed one of her pillows and whacked Cameron in the side.

"Ow!" Cameron yelped, narrowing her eyes at Thirteen.

"That didn't hurt," Thirteen chuckled.

"Oh yeah?" Cameron challenged.

Thirteen smirked lopsidedly. "Yeah."

Cameron stared intently at Thirteen. Then quite suddenly, the blonde sprung in the air, hurling herself over Thirteen onto the other side of the bed. She snatched a pillow and then swiftly rolled off the other side of the bed.

Thirteen flung the covers away and tottered off the mattress. Immediately, a head rush incapacitated Thirteen and she stumbled into the nightstand. Using this to her advantage, the brunette dropped to her knees and slumped over.

"Thirteen?" Cameron asked frantically.

She dropped her pillow and rushed to Thirteen's side. As Cameron was helping Thirteen to stand, the brunette lightly shoved Cameron away and again whacked her with the pillow.

The incredulous look on Cameron's face reduced Thirteen to a puddle of laughter on the floor.

"I thought you were really hurt!" Cameron exclaimed, powerless to overcome the chuckle that crept into her voice.

When Thirteen finally composed herself, she breathed, "C'mon, Cameron. Everybody lies."

Cameron narrowed her eyes playfully at the brunette. "Next time I won't let you off so easily."

Thirteen leaned back on her elbows, fully revealing the cuts on her stomach. There was no point in hiding them any longer. Cameron was there.

The brunette snickered, "Yes, you will."

"Shut up," Cameron laughed, nudging Thirteen with her foot.

"Footsie already? I haven't even had breakfast yet," Thirteen remarked, quirking an eyebrow at the blonde.

Heat pricked Cameron's cheeks. Biting her lips she said, "I guess we'd better take care of that, then." Retreating from the bedroom, Cameron called, "What would you like?"

Staring after Cameron, Thirteen grinned. _She's the absolute cutest, _Thirteen thought. She pushed herself up from the floor and followed Cameron to the kitchen.

"I'll just have some toast," Thirteen decided.

She yanked open a drawer to retrieve a knife, but was taken aback when she found none. Pulling open another drawer, she was met with the same lack of utensils.

And then it occurred to her. "Did you _really_ hide all of my knives?" Thirteen asked in disbelief.

"As well as a few other things," Cameron smirked, handing Thirteen a bag of frozen corn wrapped in a towel.

"I'm not going to cut again," Thirteen insisted. "I'm fine."

Thirteen pressed the bag to her temple.

"I believe you," Cameron replied earnestly, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Narrowing her eyes at the blonde, Thirteen said, "Then give me back my can opener."

"No," Cameron grinned. The delight Cameron gleaned from having the upper hand was completely evident.

Tossing her head back, Thirteen groaned, "You're the woooorst."

"Don't worry, you'll get your all your sharp, pointy, and potentially harmful objects back eventually," Cameron said, leaning back comfortably in her chair.

Thirteen raised an eyebrow. "And where might these objects be?"

Cameron retrieved her key ring from her pocket and nonchalantly twirled the keys around her finger. "Possibly in my motorized chariot."

Eyes fixed on the keys, Thirteen muttered, "Chariots only have two wheels."

"Okay, but you get the picture," Cameron remarked, rolling her eyes.

Thirteen took the opportunity of Cameron's momentary distraction to lunge for the keys. Dropping the corn, with one hand she gripped the table; with the other she reached toward Cameron's key ring.

Cameron was quick to react. She flung her arm that grasped the keys backward, forcing Thirteen to stumble. To keep from falling, Thirteen gripped Cameron's shoulders with both hands. Only when she had steadied herself did Thirteen realize how close she was to Cameron. Their bodies were pressed flush against each other, and their faces were so near that Thirteen couldn't focus her vision on both of Cameron's eyes at once.

Clearing her throat, Thirteen withdrew herself from Cameron's personal bubble. Once the two women were unstuck from each other, Thirteen immediately retreated toward the refrigerator. As she pulled the door open and rooted around for something to eat, she didn't see the amused smile that lit up Cameron's visage.

"Cooking is going to be awfully difficult without knives," Thirteen remarked, trying to salvage what remained of her dignity. "I hope you realize."

"I realize," Cameron drawled.

Cameron's molasses-like words sent a chill down Thirteen's spine. Quickly grabbing the carton of milk, she shut the refrigerator door and hoped Cameron didn't notice what her voice did to the brunette.

As Thirteen reached in the cabinet for a bowl, she asked, "So, uh, about last night? You said House called you?"

"Yeah," Cameron replied after a moment. Her voice sounded small.

Thirteen glanced at Cameron out of the corner of her eye as she withdrew a box of Cheerios from the cupboard. Noting the onset of the blonde's sudden, somber demeanor, Thirteen remained silent as she waited for Cameron to speak.

The blonde continued, "It was pretty scary. I haven't gotten a phone call from House in the middle of the night for a long time."

Pouring cereal into the bowl, Thirteen offered a supportive chuckle.

"I picked up the phone and all he said was, 'Thirteen is going to kill herself. You should probably do something about it.' And then he hung up."

Thirteen slowly opened the drawer again. As she did, the squeaking noise her action produced seemed to fill her entire apartment. Quickly, she fished out a spoon and slammed the drawer shut.

"And then I drove here and… Well, you know," Cameron trailed off, forcing a chuckle.

As Thirteen poured milk over her cereal, she said, "Thank you."

Cameron grinned at the brunette. "You're welcome."

"If you hadn't come back I would have just continued—"

"It's okay," Cameron cut in gently, "Everything worked out."

"Work," Thirteen muttered faintly. Eyes widening, she blurted out, "Shit! I have to go to work!"

Scooping up a bite of cereal, Thirteen dashed back to her bedroom. She flung open the closet and frantically searched for something to wear.

Cameron strolled into the bedroom after her.

"Shit, Cameron. It's 9:30! Cuddy is gonna _kill _me," Thirteen fretted, pulling on a pair of jeans.

"Thirteen—"

"Oh, God," Thirteen sighed, "She said she'd fire me if anything worse happened—"

"Worse?" Cameron asked, voice rising in pitch.

As Thirteen buttoned her jeans she said, "A few weeks ago I… showed up to work hung over and _almost_…" Thirteen avoided looking at Cameron. "Killed a patient," she admitted nervously.

Cameron's eyes widened.

Shaking her head, Thirteen sighed, "I know. I drank a lot. Too much." Thirteen selected a navy blouse from her closet. "That's why I started cutting."

Thirteen quickly pulled on the blouse. When she was half-way through buttoning it up, Cameron laid a hand on her bicep, sending an electric pulse shooting through Thirteen's arm. The brunette was frozen.

"By the way," Cameron began, a smile itching at the corners of her mouth, "I called Cuddy. She said you can have the day off."

Thirteen fixed Cameron with her wide, brilliant eyes. "Are you shitting me?" she asked incredulously.

Biting her lip to conceal a laugh, Cameron shook her head.

Thirteen flung her arms in the air. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" Thirteen shouted, voice laden with irritation and relief.

"Seeing the oh-so-composed Thirteen all flustered is kind of funny," Cameron admitted, shrugging in amusement.

"You know, it is _funny_," Thirteen drawled, tapping a finger to her lips. "There was this woman that showed up at my apartment last night when I wasn't the least bit composed. You actually look a lot alike."

"Hilarious," Cameron said, shoving Thirteen's arm playfully.

Thirteen bowed exaggeratedly. When she again stood upright, Cameron drew very near to her.

"What are you—" Thirteen stammered.

Reaching out, Cameron's deft fingers began to button Thirteen's blouse. As Thirteen studied the flutter of Cameron's eyelashes and the arch of her lips, she couldn't help but be entranced by Cameron's quiet radiance. Thirteen wasn't used to having someone care for her so fondly.

_I think I like it, _Thirteen thought with a smile.

When she finished buttoning, Cameron asked slowly, "Are you working in Diagnostics again?"

Thirteen sensed Cameron's hesitation was due to the fact that Chase worked in Diagnostics. Even loose association with her ex-husband still seemed to upset the blonde. Shaking her head, Thirteen muttered sheepishly, "I'm, uh, actually the Head of the ER."

Cameron's eyes widened and a brilliant smile spread across her face. "Thirteen!" she exclaimed, fingers slipping around the brunette's wrist. "That's great! Congratulations!"

Turning her head bashfully, Thirteen felt a smile play on her lips. _How does she do this to me?_ Thirteen thought.

"Oh, don't turn away!" Cameron laughed. "Your smile is pretty."

Thirteen bit her lip and faced Cameron.

"You're pretty," Cameron insisted. The corners of her eyes pinched as she smiled.

Thirteen shielded her face with her hands. "Cameron, stop it," she whined playfully.

Gently, Cameron peeled Thirteen's fingers away from her face. Lightly rubbing their noses together, the blonde whispered, "You're pretty."

Cameron's sweet breath ghosted over Thirteen's cheeks, and the brunette immediately felt a blush blooming across her face.

"No fair," Thirteen laughed nervously.

Thirteen thought, _This woman is unreal_.

Cameron dropped Thirteen's hands and brushed her index finger down Thirteen's nose affectionately. Heading for the couch, Cameron asked, "You up for a movie?"

Grinning, Thirteen replied, "Is that a question?"

* * *

><p>"I bet they're having sweet lesbian make-up sex as we speak," House declared as he paraded into Wilson's office.<p>

Wilson's eyes widened at House's outburst and he covered the received on the phone. "I'm busy!" he mouthed.

House held up his hands in defense, shrugging as he made himself comfortable on the couch.

"Okay, thank you very much," Wilson said earnestly. "No, no, I—just a guy at work. No, he was passing by in the hall. Never know what you'll hear in a hospital, huh?" Wilson forced a laugh. "Okay, thank you again. Good bye."

Hanging up the phone, the oncologist sighed heavily. "You couldn't have waited one minute?" Wilson asked.

"Mmmm nope," House decided. Smirking, he added, "So, as I was saying—"

"Why can't you just leave Cameron and Thirteen alone?" Wilson muttered, rubbing his temples.

"Well if that's how you want to look at it," House huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not like I reunited them or anything."

Wilson jerked his up. "You what?"

Immediately, House realized his slip-up. "It was about time they unleashed the sexual tension," House said quickly, pushing himself off Wilson's couch with his cane.

Eyes sparkling, Wilson grinned broadly. "You felt guilty."

"What? No," House scoffed, standing before Wilson's desk. His escape attempt wasn't quick enough.

"You did! Oh my God, you did!" Wilson sputtered excitedly. "That's why you _really _brought Cameron back!"

House rolled his eyes.

"You were worried about Thirteen! Admit it!" Wilson pestered eagerly.

"Okay, fine!" House spat. "Thirteen was slowly killing herself. And I couldn't help her," House trailed off, eyes straying to the floor.

"And Cameron is the only one who could," Wilson reasoned softly.

House nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Maybe you are human after all," Wilson remarked in awe.

"This isn't going to be a regular occurrence, so don't hold your breath," House muttered.

A grin curled Wilson's lips. "Haven't you heard, House? Everybody lies."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** WRITING FLUFF IS SUCH A STRUGGLE FOR ME. But I did it. For you. Because I love you. And a chapter of recuperation was necessary. :)


	15. Drifting

Chapter 15: Drifting

**A/N: **As always, thank you so much for your reviews and support. :) This chapter was pretty challenging to write, just because of the dynamic. You'll see in a moment. But I'm pretty sure you'll like the end. ;) (Written to "Take Me To Church" by Hozier on repeat.)

* * *

><p>"Cameron? Hey, Cameron," Thirteen whispered. She poked the blonde in the arm. "Cameron, wake up."<p>

"Hmmm whaaat?" Cameron murmured. She snuggled further into the pillows.

Thirteen squeezed her eyes shut tightly, and then opened them. Staring at Cameron's peaceful expression, her brow furrowed. "I need to talk to you," Thirteen said quietly.

"Do you want me to make pancakes or something?" Cameron asked, yawning.

"Cameron, come on. Wake up."

Rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms, the blonde sat up. "Is everything okay?"

Head still glued to her pillow, Thirteen gazed up at Cameron. "No," she admitted, lips set in a thin line.

Cameron sat cross-legged and dropped her hands in her lap. For the first time that morning, Cameron really looked at Thirteen. The brunette was troubled, that was for sure. Reluctance and anxiety marred her porcelain face. Although normally a grumbling mess in the morning, Thirteen was very alert. How long she had been awake, alone with her thoughts, Cameron didn't know.

"Thirteen?" Cameron asked, fear creeping into her voice.

Thirteen swallowed hard. "Cameron, I need to talk to you."

Scrunching her shoulders, trying to disappear into herself, Cameron tentatively asked, "What's wrong?"

The brunette drew in a slow breath and tucked her arm under her pillow. "I've been putting this off since you came back the other day, but I really need to just," she started, closing her eyes, "say it."

Cameron tilted her head to the side. When Thirteen opened her eyes again and stared up at the blonde, she couldn't help but notice how Cameron's feathery locks cascaded over one shoulder, resembling a river of sunshine. Thirteen bit her lip.

"I'm not good at talking about my feelings," the brunette sighed. "I've never been good at it."

Raising an eyebrow imploringly, Cameron patiently waited for Thirteen to continue.

When Thirteen felt as though she would burst if she didn't speak, she blurted out, "What are we doing?"

Cameron's eyebrows knit together.

"I mean, what are _we_ doing?" Thirteen repeated, gesturing between them. "With our… relationship," she added quietly.

Cameron's eyes widened slightly, as though she expected this question, but still couldn't believe Thirteen had actually asked it.

"We're friends," Cameron muttered faintly.

"Just friends," Thirteen replied, tone dry.

Cameron nodded, eyes dropping to her lap.

"Friends don't cuddle in bed," Thirteen murmured, voice sounding far away.

Unsure of how to reply, Cameron began, "Well—"

"But that's what this is. Just friends." Thirteen closed her eyes, allowing the reality of those words to wash over her. She wanted to sink into the bed and then fall off the face of the Earth.

"You're my _best_ friend," Cameron tried, offering Thirteen a small smile.

Thirteen shook her head, frowning. "Maybe it's selfish, but I can't. It's not enough."

Cameron chewed the inside of her lip, avoiding Thirteen's gaze.

Sighing, Thirteen explained, "I put walls up, because when people come into my life and then leave, it hurts more than not having them at all." Thirteen sat up slowly, drawing in a deep breath, despite the feeling that her lungs were collapsing. "Cameron, I love you," she admitted. "I can honestly say that I love you."

Cameron's lips parted slightly. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth, staring intently at Thirteen.

"And it's not your fault—or my fault—if you don't feel the same," Thirteen choked out. All her air seemed to have forsaken her, making breathing, let alone speaking, very difficult.

Cameron said, "I think you're amazing—"

"I wish," Thirteen blurted. "I wish things could be different. But they're not." Flinging the covers away, Thirteen stepped out of bed. With a frustrated grunt, she continued, "I can't be _just friends_ with you. I thought I could handle it, but I can't." Thirteen interlocked her hands behind her neck as she paced the length of her bedroom. "I think the only healthy thing to do is to get away," she admitted. "I see that now. I need to live my life for myself."

Getting out of bed as well, Cameron's words tumbled from her mouth in a rush. "Thirteen! Hang on for a second!"

The brunette continued pacing and didn't reply.

"Thirteen!" Cameron exclaimed fearfully, grabbing Thirteen's arm, halting her in her tracks.

"I'm going to leave," Thirteen said faintly. "Go to Thailand."

Cameron looked as though she'd been stabbed in the gut. "I just got you back," the blonde murmured, voice as brittle as broken glass. "I don't want to lose you now."

"Please, don't say that," Thirteen whispered breathlessly. A crease formed between her eyebrows as she added, "It makes this so much harder."

"Please," Cameron begged, grabbing Thirteen's hand. "Please, please, _please_. Don't leave." A panicked and apprehensive expression clouded her usually radiant countenance.

Thirteen turned her head away.

"This is the first time I've been happy in a long time," Cameron murmured softly, gripping Thirteen's hand even more tightly.

"I can't stay," Thirteen declared quietly. "I need to get away."

"Thirteen," the blonde pleaded.

"Cameron, I can't," Thirteen explained, voice breaking. Taking a step backward, she continued, "I can't do this. I ca—"

In one swift motion, Cameron slipped her hand behind Thirteen's neck and pulled the brunette close to her. When their lips collided, all the tension in Thirteen's body dissipated.

_I can't_, Thirteen thought desperately.

Their lips frantically slid against each other. Pressing her other hand between Thirteen's shoulder blades, Cameron held her in a tight embrace.

_I can_.

Thirteen felt weightless, floating upside down and flying into the air; but from the ground, Cameron had a firm grip on her. And the blonde had no intention of letting go. But as Thirteen hung suspended in the air, the pit in her stomach only grew more vast. The emptiness refused to be ignored.

_I can't_.

Thirteen pulled back slightly. She felt a heady sensation overtake her when Cameron leaned forward to accommodate her, hungrily pursuing her lips. The blonde moaned into her mouth and tugged at Thirteen's hair. Thirteen felt her knees threaten to buckle.

_I can_.

Curling an arm around Cameron's waist, Thirteen had to lean her head back, gasping for air. Once the brunette had exposed her neck, Cameron took the opportunity to plant kisses from Thirteen's collarbone up to the corner of her jaw. A needy whine clawed its way out of Thirteen's throat, inducing Cameron to nip at Thirteen's earlobe.

Cameron drew back for a moment, eyes flickering over Thirteen's flushed and glowing visage. In turn, Thirteen scanned Cameron's face. She was immediately rendered helpless by the blonde's luminous smile.

"Stay," Cameron purred, the corners of her eyes pinching.

As Cameron again captured Thirteen's lips, the brunette smiled.


	16. Clean

Chapter 16: Clean

**A/N: **Hey, everyone! Thank you for the reviews! You make my heart happy. :) This chapter picks up immediately where the last one left off.

* * *

><p>Cameron gripped Thirteen's shoulders, intently guiding her to the wall. As the brunette slammed against it, an aroused laugh rolled off her lips. The noise was silenced, however, by Cameron's searing kiss. When Thirteen's hands reached up and cupped Cameron's face, the blonde ripped them away. Cameron curled her fingers around Thirteen's wrists and pinned her arms to the wall, eliciting a surprised and throaty moan from Thirteen. Cameron's sudden dominance was unbelievably hot.<p>

But Thirteen wasn't going to stay submissive for long. The moment Cameron's grip on her wrists lessened, Thirteen pushed herself off the wall and flipped them around. With Cameron now against the wall, Thirteen could easily cup Cameron's cheeks. Thirteen felt the blonde smile into the kiss. Cameron smiled at their closeness and at Thirteen's delicate affection.

However, Cameron still wanted to be in control. The blonde held Thirteen's biceps and swiftly flipped them around again. But instead of hitting the wall, Thirteen knocked into something, which toppled over with a powerful _crash!_

Cameron slowly withdrew her lips from Thirteen's. The crash seemed to have vacuumed up all other noises, save their ragged breathing. As the two took in the shattered remnants of Thirteen's bedside lamp, they began to laugh. It was absurd and silly and they laughed. Cameron wrapped her arms around Thirteen in a warm hug, still laughing and smiling.

"I guess we should clean it up, huh?" Cameron asked after a while.

Thirteen nodded, still grinning. Together, they swept up the shards and collected the broken pieces. Bashful smiles were exchanged and stray laughs flitted through the air. Once all the pieces were cleaned up, the two returned to the bedroom and sat beside each other on the bed.

Cameron smiled and leaned in to kiss Thirteen, but the brunette help a hand to Cameron's chest, keeping her at bay.

"What's wrong?" Cameron asked, eyes searching Thirteen's face.

Thirteen tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and stared at Cameron.

"What?" Cameron laughed.

Drawing in a deep breath, Thirteen asked, "Why do you want me to stay?"

Cameron ran her hand through her hair and let out a breathless chuckle. "I'm pretty sure what we were just doing is proof enough."

"But _why_?" Thirteen insisted.

Staring at the crease between Thirteen's eyebrows, Cameron couldn't help but sigh. "Because I want to," Cameron smiled. Stars danced in her eyes as she grinned lopsidedly at the brunette.

"Is it really what _you _want, or is it because you want _me_ to be happy?"

Cameron opened her mouth, but no words came out.

"You're the most selfless person I've ever met," Thirteen explained as a rueful smile played on her lips. "Are you doing this for you, or are you doing this for me?" she asked, glancing at Cameron. "If it's not for you, then… I can't."

"Oh, Thirteen," Cameron sighed, taking Thirteen's hands in her own. "It's for both of us."

"We were both in horrible, shitty places," Thirteen lamented. "Maybe you're just confused."

"Confused?" Cameron asked incredulously. "Things are more clear they they've been in my whole life! I know what I want," she grinned, "and what I want is you!"

Thirteen shook her head. "This all happened too fast. You don't know that, you don't—"

Cameron silenced Thirteen with a light kiss. Eyelids fluttering closed, Thirteen again felt Cameron draw out her anxiety. The brunette felt a sigh expanding in her chest, but before it could escape, Thirteen drew back.

Holding a hand to Thirteen's face, Cameron said, "Only I know what I feel. And I want _you_."

With a shake of her head, Thirteen pushed herself up and resorted to pacing around her bedroom.

"Don't start this again," Cameron sighed in exasperation. "Thirteen, will you just listen? I want to be with you! Why is that so difficult to comprehend?"

Thirteen squeezed her eyes shut and held a hand to her mouth. As Thirteen's breathing grew more erratic, Cameron couldn't contain herself any longer.

"Why are you putting up walls again?" Cameron shouted. "I'm here! Now we can be together, but you're fucking _terrified_!"

Thirteen stopped pacing. "Aren't you?" she whispered, voice cracking and fragile.

"No," Cameron replied delicately. "I'm not." Cameron's answer seemed to come as a surprise even to herself. "Don't you want this? Want me?"

Thirteen felt her throat constricting. "More than anything," she breathed.

"Then why can't we just _be_?" Cameron asked urgently, moving her hands to cup Thirteen's face. As she stared intently up into Thirteen's eyes, she whispered, "Why can't we just be?"

Holding Cameron's gaze, Thirteen lamented, "I'll be dead before you have a midlife crisis."

Cameron couldn't help it. She laughed. It was broken and small, but she laughed. "Thirteen, if you think that will stop me from being with you—"

"And your husband—" Thirteen interrupted.

Cameron cut in gently, "I _chose_ to marry him. I wanted to help him."

"To help _him_," Thirteen murmured.

"Because I _loved_ him," Cameron smiled, drawing back slightly to look at Thirteen. She insisted, "It's what _I_ wanted. So give me what I want and let me help you."

Thirteen took hold of Cameron's hands and guided them away from her face, intertwining their fingers by their sides. "I have so much trouble trusting people, depending on them," Thirteen sighed, staring down at their hands. "I don't know how."

Untangling one hand from one of Thirteen's, Cameron lifted the brunette's chin and waited until Thirteen held her gaze. "Let me help you."

Thirteen's eyebrows knit together. "What if you leave again?"

"I won't," Cameron promised.

"But I don't know that," Thirteen said, voice breaking. She whispered, "You don't know that."

"Thirteen, what more do you want from me?" Cameron asked as gently as possible. "I will give you anything and everything."

"I believe you."

"Then why—?"

"People always let me down," Thirteen breathed. "I have no security that people will really stay."

Laughing lightly, Cameron replied, "That's what trust is, Thirteen. That's what _love_ is."

"I don't think I'm ready for it," Thirteen admitted.

"Then let's start slowly," Cameron decided. "Okay?"

A smile tugged at Thirteen's lips as she said, "You know you're talking to the girl who sleeps with strangers while on copious amounts of drugs, right? I don't know anything about _slowly_."

"It's pretty easy, actually," Cameron grinned, giving Thirteen's hands a squeeze.

Thirteen narrowed her eyes skeptically. "Really?"

"Yeah, it goes a little something like this…" Cameron said, scurrying out of the room.

Thirteen couldn't contain a laugh. "What are you doing?"

After a moment, Cameron rushed back into the room. At the sight of Thirteen, Cameron gave a small gasp of surprise. "Oh, Thirteen! Fancy seeing you here!"

"This is my bedroom," Thirteen deadpanned.

"Ah, that it is," Cameron conceded.

A full-blown grin spread across Thirteen's face. "Cameron, what are you doing?"

Leaning in close to the brunette, Cameron whispered, "I come bearing a vital question, Thirteen."

"And what would that be?"

"Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?" Cameron asked, eyes sparkling.

Thirteen bit her lip. "You're asking me on a date?"

"I hear that's how relationships tend to start," Cameron shrugged.

"Ha ha," Thirteen muttered, but her brilliant smile betrayed her.

Cameron wiggled her eyebrows. "So? How about it?"

"Will there be wine?" Thirteen asked very seriously.

"You betcha," Cameron replied with a wink.

Thirteen tapped her chin, pretending to mull it over. With a laugh, Cameron shoved her in the arm.

"Okay, okay," Thirteen chuckled. "_Yes_."

With a mirthful squeal, Cameron jumped around in delight, and it was the most beautiful thing Thirteen had seen in her entire life. The vice constricting Thirteen's lungs loosened its grip. As she drew in a breath, the air felt crisp. Thirteen didn't try to fight the contented smile that curled her lips, because she and Cameron were starting fresh, starting anew, starting… Clean.


End file.
